buys a young cock. As soon as he gets it home, it fucks all the farmers 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock again screws all 150 hens. Next day, it’s fucking the geese and the ducks too. Sadly, later in the day he finds the cock lying on the ground half dead and vultures circling overhead. The farmer says, " You deserved it, you horny bastard!" The cock opens one eye, points up and says, "Shhhhhh! They are about to land!"
i thought to myself, that's a little condescending.
They changed my mind
Apparently not 17, cuz my basement is still dark
Little 8-year-old Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was doing, he asked: “What are you doing there, Nancy?”
“My goldfish died,” Nancy sobbed. “And I’ve just buried him.” The obnoxious neighbour laughed and said condescendingly: “That’s a really big hole for a little goldfish, don’t you think?” Nancy patted down the last heap of earth with her shovel and replied: “That’s because he’s inside your cat.”
Leave me the Fu Cologne.
He was really good at spiking the ball!
The Star-Spangled Banner.
I was afraid of that.
A receding airline.
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.
A lip reader.
My math teacher is a bastard.
Anybody on this site have experience in reposting?
I have a complex complex complex.
Grandma's taking it pretty hard.
His funeral was very low key
But I'm clean now.
I said no. I can't deal with a high maintenance woman.
I don't want to comb placate things.
It scares the hell out of the dog.
The ceremony wasnt much but the reception was amazing!
All that money and nothing to chauffeur it.
Every day is a date.
A 17 year old male walks into a drug store. He says "I've been invited to Christmas dinner at my new girlfriend's house. Afterwards I hope there is a chance I get lucky, you know what I mean" Clerk: "How about condoms then? They could come in handy. Here's a pack." The young man after paying walks to the door, stops, smiles, comes back: "you know what, the mom is also smoking hot, I think I'll take another pack, just in case I get extra lucky." Christmas eve comes around, the boy sits at the dinner table and doesn't say a word. After a while his girlfriend says: "if I had known you were so quiet, I wouldn't have invited you." the young man replies "if you had told me your dad works at a drug store, I wouldn't have come."
When the punchline becomes apparent.