Hey, I’ve seen this one. It’s a classic
“No” said her husband. She gave him a little smile, unbuttoned the top three buttons, reached into her bra and pulled out a crumpled $20 note. She then asked “Have you ever seen $50 all crumpled up?” “No, I haven’t” he said with an anxious tone in his voice. She seductively unzipped her skirt and pulled out a crumpled $50 note. “Now” she said. “Have you ever seen $40,000 all crumpled up?” “No way!” he panted, becoming even more excited, She said “Look in the garage.”
They both get stoned after sex
Sails have gone through the roof
Well, some of the reviews say it’s just a waist of space
No text found
In a panic reflex I instantly changed to a random channel, the fishing channel. As my wife walks out again she says: "you should stay on the porn channel… you know how to fish."
"Hello yes my Wife is going into labour!" "Is this her first child?" "No this is her husband"
Since then my muggings have been way more successful.
Which is a really weird way to start a conversation if you ask me.
That will give you a reason to get up in the morning.
Well, the catapult's fantastic!
I can never understand y.
It be the best place to exchange stolen content for gold.
The attack made headlines.
Which was a good thing, because he stepped on a land mine
…but the working conditions were shocking
In an elementary school English class, kids are learning the word “contagious”. Teacher calls on students, asking them to use it in a sentence.
“Susan?” “I had a flu and mommy made me stay home for 3 days because I was contagious!” “Very good. What about you, Johnny?” “Our neighbor Mrs. Henderson has started painting her fence last night, daddy says it’s gonna take the contagious!”
Because they’re good at it.
I've never run so far in my life.
The horse replies "You read my mind buddy!"
Wife: I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad Wife: No you're not.
…we'd never hear the end of it.
"No, it would be against my code of ethics," says the doctor. "Please, just one kiss," begs the woman. "It's completely out of question," he goes on. "I shouldn't even really be having sex with you."
Then I realized I hadn't turned the TV on.
There would be six feet between us.
One's Chinese take out, the other takes out Chinese.
I wasn't putting in enough shifts
But, I just didn't have the patients…
“robin, get in the batmobile”
Her: So, you like it? Me: I just told you it was average.
… I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.