HOLD ME BACK ERIC!
That shows how toxic the media is.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta
After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs."
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to her and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a handsome prince.”
She bent over, picked up the frog and put it in her pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a handsome prince, I will stay with you for one week.” The engineer took the frog out of her pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a prince, I’ll be your devoted boyfriend.” Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into her pocket. Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a handsome prince, and that I’ll be your devoted boyfriend. Why won’t you kiss me?” The engineer said, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a boyfriend, but a talking frog……that’s cool.”
A happy, hollow ween!
You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
Yoda: Off course I am!
I’m on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I’m seated in the last row.
I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.
Me: why Dad: so we can start the new year on the right foot! Me: why are you the way that you are
Because if it was served warm it would be Justwater
Their words, not mine.
I heard they're going to give him a tough sentence
She looked surprised.
Never trust a guy with 6 kids that says he is going to pull out
I swam for the surface instead
"What? We should only have 37!" I replied. "I know" he said, "I rounded them up".
Stranger Things have happened.
They're just remarkable
Its not a long poem but its very deep
I tried to find a lighter and they had only 45324 matches…
Y’know, one would’ve been enough.
He Never Lands! I like this joke because it never grows old 🙂
I guess she's used to most people just flushing.
Well the jokes on them – they’re imaginary too…
Just remember that it's somebody's job to install turn signals to BMW's
No text found
and lowers it
A big inmate, with a cock like a python, handed it back to me. "Nice try, you ugly cunt," he said.
They both died to become the icon of saving.
There was nothing left but de Brie
One turns to the other and says “Man, I can’t believe I blew thirty bucks in there”.