How a juggler makes scrambled eggs
For a bad altitude
So they can Scan da navy in
and there names of each member were : Anna1 Anna2 Anna1234 (saw this on r/tinder)
But it’s definitely up there.
I suggest you watch all documentaries this way.
I have got some news for her.
It means a great deal.
Then I know it will never come for me
She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns. I look at therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one!"
and remember to call a doctor if your election lasts more than 4 hours.
A big city doctor visits an Native American tribe full of men and he asks “How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?”
"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc? We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
Luckily I was in my living room.
I'll call it 'tit for tat".
Cockroach: Jiminy, you look so tired. What's wrong? Cricket: Well, Damian, my Firefly neighbor has kept me up every night for the past week with her loud music, and I have talked to the landlord multiple times, and he still won't do anything about it. Cockroach: Gosh, Jiminy, that must really bug you.
My son's shit drawing of a snake.
The rest, as they say, is History.
A black hole walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks if it would like food with that. The black hole says, "No thanks, I'm a light eater."
The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave. Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" "We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied. "She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50…and I get $43 back from Medicare
but I just couldn’t fit my head that far up my ass
But it’s still not nearly as sensitive as Reddit.
She says it drives her up the wall.
As it stands, no.
That way you will be a mile away and have his shoes.
He replied, "Well, yeah. 'Spigoted."
You could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve…
Because they cantaloupe
People are so sensitive now-a-days. You can’t even say “black paint.” Instead you gotta say,” Jamal, will you please paint the fence?”
A clean joke walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Welcome to /r/CleanJokes! I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”
Clean joke replies, "Don't worry. Within a week or two, I'll be a regular here!"
He lies down on the floor and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts. Embarrassed she stands up and apologises. She squats down for another go but farts again, she gets up and apologises again. Before she can have a third go, her boyfriend gets up and goes to walk out saying “yeah this isn’t really for me, I’m not having 67 more of those in my face”
It will be called "Do You Have The Skillet Takes"
Me: "Sweet dog you got there" Policeman: "Yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog." Me: "Still in training, huh?" Policeman: "What do you mean?" Me: "Nevermind"
I have to draw my own conclusions.
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm a whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that." The woman, "OK, I'm a prostitute." "No, that is still too crude. Try again." They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?" "Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year."
ʇsnɹɔ-ᴉʇu∀ ǝɥ┴ :∀