How do you spot a blind man at a nudist beach?
it's not hard…
They checked the reviews……………. only one star.
Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
It's pasture bedtime
He got the axe after making a cutting remark about some dead wood.
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Because they've already got their degrees.
He bent down to pet it, and screamed "it's fucking r/aww!"
When the smart kid corrects the teacher about plasma Me:Laughs in Bose Einstein condensate! I don’t even go to school anymore I graduated, why am a making school memes at 3 AM…
His father grounded him
.It is dangerous to sleep with your mouth open on the subway.
The Carroty Kid
Global chaos ensues. The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
Asked if we had chicken? I replied, “no, black Betty It’s ham or lamb.”
That's always been his Achilles Elbow
He tells the border guard that the sacks are full of sand, but the guard doesn’t believe him. The guard detains the guy, and rips open the bags, but there’s nothing but sand. He even has the sand analyzed, only to find that it really is just sand. And the sack is just a plain sack. Two days later, the same thing happens. And then it happens again, two days after that. Every time, that guy is on the bike carrying nothing but sand. This goes on for seven years. It drives the border guard crazy. He loses his job because of it. One day, he tracks the Mexican guy down and says to him, “I’m no longer a border guard, but I gotta know- what is it that you’re smuggling? Because I know you’re snuggling something.” The bicycle guy smiles at him and says, “Bicycles, sucker.”
Not what you are thinking.
They shake! Bwahahahahaha
I hope it's just a phase.
Go see a Cairo-practor.
No strings attached.
I don't know what he laced them with.. But I was trippin all day!
When I turned into a teenager, my dad repeatedly emphasized the importance of using a condom whenever I have sex.
He said, “Anyone who would sleep with you would sleep with almost anyone else.”
I was attending a noisy legal hearing, and the Judge started yelling, “Order! Order in the courtroom!”
So I said, “A pastrami on rye, please.”
A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery. The Arab immediately steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the Jew, “See how good I am? The owner didn’t see a thing.” The Jew says to the Arab, “That’s typical of you Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result.” He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, “Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick.” Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew swallows that one and asks for a third pastry and eats that, too. The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, “So what did you do with the pastries?” The Jew replies, “Look in the Arab’s back pocket…”
The closer you get to the butt the more intense the flavor.
Because they are really good at it.
One goes ba dum tiss, the other is da bum kiss.
What a releaf!
In Queso emergencies
She’s obviously wrong. Why else am I refusing to leave the casino until I win my daughter’s college tuition money back?