How do you treat a wounded lemon?
With a sour patch.
I'll see myself out now.
Through the Dumbell door.
Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He is a web designer.
You live like this?
This is the donning of the "h" of Ahquarius.
I it helps when I Kant Handel.
The husband and his young wife were not on good terms. In fact the wife was convinced that he was carrying on with the pretty housemaid, so she laid a trap.
One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn’t inform the husband. That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story, ”Excuse me my dear……..my stomach,” and disappeared towards the bathroom. The wife promptly dashed along the corridor, up the back stairs and into the maid’s bed. She just had time to switch the lights off when in he came in silently………. He wasted no time or words but quickly took out his dick, got on top of her and fucked her like there was no tomorrow. When he finished and while he was still panting, the wife said, "You didn’t fcuking expect to find me in this bed did you!!” and switched on the light. “No madam”, said the gardener.
Said the shower head.
Boil the hell out of it.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Amish. Amish who? You're not a shoe, you freaking idiot.
He said, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I’ll be parked around the corner.” She’s standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, “How much?” She says, “A hundred dollars.” He says, “All I got is thirty”. She says, “Hold on,” and runs back to Harry and asks, “What can he get for thirty?” “A hand job”, Harry reply. She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollar is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE… She stares at it for a minute, and then says, “I’ll be right back.” She runs back to Harry, and asks, “Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?”
…. I would have to change my name.
It was cooked in Greece
and name it ElonGates.
The second time let me down.
…and chimney installations are through the roof!
A paragraph. He’s not quite a full essay
It had a bison.
Well, first, you gotta set a boobie trap…
"From the top of your head, usually," I replied.
I said no. I can't deal with a high maintenance woman.
If they fell off forwards, they’d just land in the boat.
I don’t know, Sir Cough I guess
Remains to be seen
The LIVING ROOM
With or without "u"
they are a non-prophet organization
It's cutting edge technology.
I thought “hmm, that’s a little condescending l”
I replied, "Well, tell him he's bloody good – I ain't got any kids!"
I got pulled over by a traffic cop. He walked up to my window and said, “Papers.” I said, “Scissors, I win!” and I drove off.
He must be desperate for a re-match because he’s been chasing me for ages!