How is a trans 4-year old like a vegan cat?
We all know who’s making that decision
Police: "hi you're the first people today with their seatbelts on, so we want to give you an award of 5000 dollar." The policeman seeing the happy couple gets curious and asks "what are you going to do with the money?" The man answers: "I'm going to take lessons for my driver's license" The woman: " don't listen to him. When he is drunk he says stupid things!" The man on the backseat: "I told you not to ride in a stolen car!" A voice from the trunk: "did we cross the border?"
This is a study looking into the effect of internet memes on the individual. Participants will be asked to answer a series of questionnaires. This should take no longer than 30 minutes. Further information can be found in the information sheet. https://chester.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/memes4dalolz
They did unspeakable things to me
I had a car crash the other day. A dwarf got out of the other car and said, “I'm not happy”. To which I replied, “Which one are you then?”
Me: Won't that confuse people who are trying to call us?
Because she couldn’t control her pupils.
She finds herself at the pearly gates, being greeted by God himself. He looks the woman up and down, and says "Hm… Strange. It's not your time! I'm sending you back." "Sending me back? How long until it IS my time?" she asks. "Worry not, my child. You have many, many more years until it is your time. You will live until the ripe old age of 108!" She's sent back to Earth and pops into her miraculously repaired body. She gets up, dusts herself off, and with a huge smile on her face immediately heads to the plastic surgeon. She proceeds to get a face lift, a tummy tuck, hair implants and more. "If I'm going to live to the old age of 108, I might as well look my best!" she happily thought. After all the surgeries and cosmetic procedures and makeovers, she looks STUNNING. Beautiful pouty lips and a tiny waist and long luscious hair. She walks out of the salon and BAM. She's hit by a bus and dies instantly. Once again, she is at the pearly gates and again, is greeted by God. "What in the world was that?!" she exclaims, "You said I was supposed to live until 108!" God looks her up and down and says "Well I didn't recognize you!" Edit: Formatting
They were prime mates.
micro soft porn
I have contacts.
I told my boyfriend we could watch a porn for his birthday and do everything that we saw in the video.
He was super psyched, until I fucked the pizza delivery guy.
Unfortunately we soon drifted apart.
It’s called Aye Caroomba.
Me: Super easy. It was right next to the potatoes.
..but I'm sure I've never met herbivore.
I have to make every second Count.
They get toad.
One of them is an elephant.
It may, Fri 10 you.
My dad died last year when my family couldn’t remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him
As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him
I’m taking steps to avoid them now
I would like to thank my legs for always supporting me. And I would like to thank my fingers because I can always count on them.
That's pretty sad considering that I loved her to the core.
Have an awesome 2016! ❤️
I said, not sure I haven't met everyone yet. She was not amused.
Him: I don’t go out with married women, sorry. Her: But I am your wife? Him: I make no exceptions.
The virus is literally making us go fuck ourselves.
Scared the heck out of everyone else in the frozen food section.
Now you mention Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow…
Instead, they got: French Industry, American culture, and British cuisine
It does have a Liverpool
She can't hear me otherwise.