How open source works.
But apparently, I was too young…
The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.
I replied, "Mate, it's 2020, you can use any printer you want."
Because all the fans left
A man walks into a hardware store and speaks to the cashier. "Have you any two watt bulbs?" "For what?" "That'll do, I'll take two." "Two what?" "I thought you didn't have any?" "Any what?" "Yes please!"
In hindsight, they shouldn’t have married that young.
Now made with 98% recycled content.
He doesn’t react to any of them.
But there’s too many drawbacks
In the ark hives
They will tell you.
Because it’s hard to differentiate between them.
“I used to love tractors.”
Dad: I don’t see any future in it.
Shes hears a knock on the door and a man says "can i come in". "who are you?" she asks nervously. "Im the blind man" he replies. "Oh well in that case come in" she says relieved. The man walks in. "Nice tits" he says "Now where shall I hang these blinds?"
Friend: Congratulations! Do you know the sex? Me: Of course I know “the sex”. How else will she get pregnant?
Edit: 1 thumb Edit:0thumbs
Cop: Stop playing the race card.
John Cena: Where am I Nurse: ICU John Cena: No you can’t
Sometimes he laughs
An engineer who having worked for several years, decided that he and his family should have a weekend getaway place.
He searched the surrounding country, and found a lovely spot with frontage on a small river. They built a cabin, and began spending time there every chance they got. The kids loved it, and friends came for the quiet and fishing. The engineer, however, wanted something unique for his cabin. He had been an award-winning pole vaulter in college. He therefore built a set of poles with a crosspiece, and a mulched run. He bought a new carbon fiber vaulting pole, new shoes, and was set. He would set off down the run, plant his pole, soar over the crosspiece, and land in the river with a satisfying splash. What a great way to spend a hot afternoon. He tried to teach a few friends to vault, with no success. He enjoyed his cabin for years, and went out early in the spring one year. It had been a very wet winter, lots of rain afterward. When the family arrived, the river was up and flowing at a good clip, with twice the usual current flowing. The engineer was determined to enjoy a few vaults into the water, although his wife didn't think it was safe. But he was a good swimmer and proceeded to have a go at it. His run and jump were flawless, he hit the water in good form, but upon surfacing, he was swept downstream and disappeared. His body was found later that day, tangled in streamside debris. It was a sad end for the engineer and the family sold the cabin, with no desire to return to the scene of such tragedy. Our lamented engineer was a civil engineer. Had he consulted one of his electrical engineer brethren, he would have been warned that "It's not vaultage that kills you, it's the current!"
The definition it gave for "obfuscate" was confusing and misleading.
I said, "But Baby, its cold outside."
‘Really’ I said ‘No, April fooaarrrrglegargle’ That’ll teach her to be funny
He was running a huge pyramid scheme…
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time…" A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit…"
A man arrives to the airport with three bags. He walks up to the counter and says, “I have a ticket for Los Angeles. Would you be so kind as to send this bag to San Francisco, this one to Miami, and if at all possible this one to Japan?” The gate agent replies, “Sir, that is flatly impossible!” He counters, “That’s a lie, you did it last time I flew with you guys and I didn’t even ask!”
I really don't know what else he wants to see.