Humans can atmost grow upto 8 feet
But usually most of them have 2
A guy comes up to him in the bar one day and says, "Are you the guy who charges $10,000 a bullet?" "Yup." "What if you miss?" He looks at the man, deadly serious. "I don't miss…" "Okay, well I've got $20,000. I just found out my wife is having an affair with my best friend. They're at the motel together right now." "Let's go," the assassin says. So they drive to a store across the street from the motel and climb up on the roof. The assassin takes out his rifle and attaches the scope. "They're in room 21. I want you to shoot her in the head, and I want you to blow his dick off." The assassin looks through his scope. He keeps staring for several minutes, not taking the shot. "Well? What are you waiting for!?" the husband asks. "Hold on a minute," said the assassin, "I may be able to save you 10 grand."
I think I'm being stalked! EDIT: a word
He really gets a kick out of it.
I don't want to interrupt her
Speaker: “I'm glad you could all make it” Whole crowd: in unison “Hi glad you could all make it, We're dad” Speaker: Puts up a pic of ID on big screen showing legal name is "glad you could all make it" entire conference loses their shit
He dealt with whatever was thrown his way
Either twice the Dad jokes or an infinite loop of “Go ask your mom”.
Tell him Obama put it in
You have my Word.
A pope tart.
I can really flip a page. 😀
Then two of my friends would have a dollar and two of their friends EACH would have have two dollars AT LEAST. And the guy above me? He’s got tons of dollars.
Teach a redditor a joke, and they will repost it for a lifetime.
we were having a drink and I said to him "Do you ever get fed up of us Westerners saying that all Chinese people look the same"? He replied "Kim's at the bar getting drinks, I'm his wife"
One says to the other, "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks in there".
Sounds weird, dozen tit?
To be honest, it was pointless.
The police charged me with hummus-cide
I’d love to have one
…until it is full groan.