Humpty Dumpty is happy
The cornea the better
I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Everywhere he went, people pretended they were choking to see what he would do. One day, he visited England. During a banquet with the royal family, the Queen grabbed her throat and bent over. Heimlich ignored her, and she confessed that she was faking. Later, he passed a prince on the street, and the prince made a similar gesture, but again Heimlich ignored him. This continued with a duke, a Duchess, and an Earl. Every time, Heimlich continued on without giving them another thought. Late in the evening, Heimlich saw a poor farmer who was holding his throat. He rushed over to him and performed his famous life-saving maneuver. A piece of bread flew from the farmer’s mouth, and he begin gasping for breath. All of the people were amazed. A small boy walked up to him and said, “Mr. Heimlich, you ignored the queen when she pretended to be choking. You also ignored the prince, the duke, the Duchess, and the Earl. How did you know that the farmer actually needed your help?” Henry Heimlich looked down at him and smiled. “The real choke is always in the commons,” he said.
and log in to your online banking system. It feels like someone else is paying your bills.
Strong, Irish, and at least 18 years old.
Please answer quickly
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Then I said 'im definite
Dress her up as a choir boy
Because they hate Tibet
When I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson, he looked quizzically at me and said, “But your name is Brian…”
I exclaimed, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson!"
7 up in cider.
Pa pa pa poke her face pa pa poke her face.
He had a mold problem
After 6 months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. Horrible, he says. They always yell and scream. He hates how they pound on the walls and stomp the floors. Oh pure! she says, how do you get by? I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes, says the lad.
I can’t wait to see them all
I just want to make myself clear.
One relies on heads while the other is just based on tales.
Easiest would be to ask them, then again we wouldn't know if they're gonna give a straight answer.
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
No strings attached.
Because they cantaloupe
I would probably only drive it from time to time.
She was wearing massive gloves
It logs on.
It was an ether/oar situation…
But when i do, he usually laughs