Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance
Because they have a supreme ruler.
He orders a beer.
He disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
It's my new year's resolution.
And we’ve been married more than 27 years!
📷 son: underwater, dad father: underwater? what do you mean? son: they're below C level
It’s a small scale operation.
One connects to your devices and accesses your data, the other is a hardware standard.
I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
People were lined up for blocks
They both go broom broom
Three ducks walk into a bar. Bar man asks the first duck: “What’s your name, and how was your day?” The duck replies: “It’s Huey and it’s been great, I’ve been in and out of puddles all day. Give me a beer, please”. The bar man asks the second duck the same, “It’s Dewey, and I’ve also been in and out of puddles all day. Give me a beer, please”. Finally he turns to the third duck: “so you must be Louie?” “No” she replies, “I'm Puddles. And don’t ask. Just give me a whiskey, neat.”
I don’t know how he sleeps at night
Get in the car
That’s a lot of pressure.
Otherwise she wouldn’t untie me from the tracks.
Because of the vacuum
That way, you can make sure they’re not some weirdo who reads /r/dadjokes.
Wife-Can you be serious for a minute? Me-*grins* Ok and you be Shirley Wife-I'm serious! Me-Shirley you can't be Serious, I'm Serious This actually happened. 🙂
But her aim keeps getting better.
But for mathematicians, it's just right.
The bartender asks them: "Do all three of you want beer?" The first one said: "I don't know." The second also said: "I don't know." The third one said: "Yes."
She was able to learn how to read and write despite being from Alabama
National dyslexia association
"Thanks Grandpa!" "Why did you call me Grandpa?" "Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
Dad: Then we'll just have the second one !
"It’d be a shame if someone put an ‘s’ at the front and an ‘e’ at the end."
A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?
Because they're all not 'C's.
So he walks down to the nearby store only to find that it's closed. He goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. While at the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers together, and then one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After they've had their fun, he realizes that its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he leaves. When he arrives home, his wife is waiting for him and she is pretty pissed. "Where the hell have you been?!" she asks. "Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her." "Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with powder and… "You liar!! You went bowling again!!"