She’s a really big help.
I meant to buy a bottle of whisky On my way back home I felt like I could fall off my bike and end up breaking the bottle of whisky So I decided to drink it all at once right there It was the best decision of my life because on my way back home I fell off my bike like 8 times.
I said I wasn't too sure about that but I do a wicked Bohemian Rhapsody.
Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".
From a distance they will look like hares.
and I asked if they were gay. They arrested me.
"That makes two of us"
Because they have 3 periods a game.
One company owner asks another: “Tell me, Bill, how come your employees are always on time in the mornings?”
Bill replies: “Easy. 30 employees and 20 parking spaces.”
She said “yes, the others were at least eights or nines”
Give me a second I'm still working on it.
I told her this way, she won’t have any grounds for divorce. Now give me my 7 upvotes
On average, a panda feeds for approximately 12 hours a day. It’s the same with humans under quarantine.
That’s why it’s called a “Pandemic”.
I’ve never had a beef with one.
The father looks confused and says, “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.” But the son insists, “I’m telling you, there’s water in the carburetor.” His father is starting to get a little nervous. “You don’t even know what a carburetor is” he says, “I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?” “In the pool.”
Donating 5 makes you a suspect
It got so bad he went baroque!
Same middle name.
I walked into the bedroom, and I was shocked! "Honey, Jabba the Hut is not my favorite Star Wars character" I said. "Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed you asshole!"
He refused, because the steaks were too high.
Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, recently received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.
On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tell me about your staff," he asked Paddy. "Well," said Paddy, "there's the farm hand, I pay him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage. Then there's the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging. There's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week along with a bottle of whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my wife." "That's disgraceful" said the inspector, "I need to interview the half-wit." "That'll be me then," said Paddy.
But I never met herbivore.
I remember when I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.
His funeral was very low key
Fortunately, I got one free off the web.
Its like he's never seen a penis before.
In the end we decided to just let her live.
Everyone eventually got it, but the Chinese guy, he got it right off the bat.
He was never supportive of my dreams of becoming an astronaut.
"Doris" "Doris who?" "Doris locked, that's why im knocking."
But his brother Frank was a monster!