I bought my daughter a locket and put her picture in it.
Now she is independent.
Colorado. (My 8 year old just made it up)
This joke is one i came up with to annoy my wife. She hates it lol. A naked man walks into a tailor's shop. The tailor screams at him. "Hey, get out of my store! You can't come in here like that." The man replies, "awww, c'mon dude….cut me some slacks." The end
It was the best dam program I've ever seen
P. It's like R, but missing a leg.
The water, because the butane is lighter fluid.
I thought to myself. That's a funny way to start a conversation.
With a sea-saw.
and a Czech one too.
As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply. After some time, Noah came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves…
So Noah asked them, ”Why aren’t you multiplying?” The snakes replied, “We can’t, we’re adders.”
thanks daylight savings
So one day, I just packed up my bags and right.
But I didn’t think that would make any cents
I started dating a black girl recently, so I decided to bring her home to meet the family. The kids wouldn't talk to her and my wife told me to pack my bags and leave.
I heard they’re gonna give them a really tough sentence
Yesterday, I found out my girlfriend is cheating on me with the primary doctor at her hospital. So from now on, I’ll be giving her an apple for lunch everyday. That oughta do the trick.