…were upset when their tent collapsed
Then it hit me
Boss: It’s May. “Sorry. May I have a week off around Christmas?”
Let’s go play on our bikes.
Of course, if he’s a billionaire.
Oh, high marks.
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring. On the other hand, you don’t.
They both have a good time.
You just have to have a feel for it.
Nobody expects the spanish ink precision
It makes the trunk of the car look better
Good man. Got electrocuted every day though.
So when things would get a little too rough in the bedroom, she'd yell, "Marry me!" and I would pull out, leave her apartment, and not call her for a few weeks. Super safe.
Their words, not mine.
No text found
So I always made sure I kept my distance from my teacher Mr Dickinson
To be honest, it was pointless.
The kids are taking it pretty hard.
They were disappointed that I wasn't A+sexual
If you don't get it, it's because it's an inside joke.
It came completely out of the purple…
“Now you’re SUPER ANGRY” Maybe she’ll laugh Maybe you’ll die
I, personally, have helped several women realize they were lesbians.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen
And she'll kill me if she finds out.
One is pretty heavy and the other is a little lighter
The only way I can tell them apart is by their scales.
Her exact words were "severely diabetic", but I know what she meant.
Good news is fast food restaurants shouldn’t be affected.
Best dam show I've ever seen.
and name it ElonGates.
I told my son people keep accidentally pleading for me to purchase meat for them. He asked, “By mistake?”
I shouted, “Oh come on! Not you too!”
But I think deep down they know nothing could be father from the truth.
I receive a ping 3 miles away as I’m approaching the ping I get a text “ honk your horn excessively until I come outside when you get to xxx address I’ll tip $20”. So I pull up to the pin and start blowing my horn for a solid min. My passenger comes out looking a little annoyed he gets in and we head to his destination. We pull up to his house and his dad is standing outside waiting for him, he greets him and asked how his ride was, he said the drive was great but the fucker blew his horn non stop until I came outside. His dad said that’s weird and handed me a $20.
Clerk responds, "No problem, sir. This room is called 'The Lobby'"