I didn’t realize how racist my family was until I brought my black girlfriend home for Thanksgiving dinner
My wife and kids HATED her!
Add spring water.
Now I have a bitcoin.
The juggler notices that they have a poor view and stands on a box. He then says”Can you see me now?” And they answer: “Yes” “Oui” “Si” “Ja”
“There isn’t a woman in the world that would be hurt by that thing,” she said. I then showed her a video of me fucking her sister.
Buy the DLC to find out
An 85-year-old man was told by the Doctor that he needed a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a sperm sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. 'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, the with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. "We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbour?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
He didn’t stand a chance against all 5 of us
I woke up exhausted
He still has the right to remain silent.
I take that as a compliment…
…but it’s multi-layered and way too cheesy
The bartender says "What can I get you Mr. President?"
Quick answers please.
As I got on the 51st floor, the elevator attendant said “see you later, son”. I said indignantly, “don’t call me ‘son’, you’re not my dad!”
… To which the lift attendant replied, "Maybe not, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
My wife asked if I needed help to clean it up. I said don't worry it's nacho problem.
Because he's a pain in the neck.
In charge of the schedule Yoda was.
And I thought, “that’s just spam”.
because they have no windows
…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
He's a small arms dealer
Good players are hard to find.
Because their P is silent