I drew a 90° angle perfectly yesterday.
Looks like I finally did something right.
Same middle name
One is really heavy…and the other…is a little lighter.
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I bought a pencil that was claimed to be owned by William Shakespeare, but the lettering’s all faded.
I’m not sure whether it’s 2B or not 2B.
The other letters were not-E.
Of how much of Japan is Japan.
and if you don’t get that that’s the best dad joke ever…. well 🤷🏼♀️
The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline.
No one remembers where this tradition originated, but every year it attracts many tourists from all over the world.
All of them. Never split the party.
That idiot doesn't have a Clue.
Because freedom rings
*break bread* This is my body *pours wine* This is my blood *open jar of mayo* Judas: I'm gonna stop you right there
The rest of the letters come aughter it.
The secret service isn’t allowed to yell “Get down!” anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
He was attacked by a giant crab
it rises in the yeast, and sets in the waist
You know, for shits and giggles.
It's not a long poem, but it's deep.
…He burped 7 up
Because they have anty bodies.
"G'day mate, Aussie Helpline here …What's the problem,cobber?" "I'm in Darwin with my Sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a wasp, and now her pussy has completely closed up." "Bummer, mate..!" "Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that, Bye."
Dad: No, why would I pick you?
I was watching a documentary about how polar bears’ hands and feet have adapted to the snow when all of a sudden my TV froze. It’s okay though, it was just on paws.
Because you can see right through them!
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
Now he has toadal recall.
You are not alone