I had a habit of excess masturbation but I’m glad I was able to beat it.
Because they had a fight and 71.
I asked for his autograph, but all he wrote was ‘thanks’…
Yesterday I purchased a world map…gave my wife a dart and said to her “throw this and wherever it lands, I’m taking you for a holiday”.
Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
I would like to thank my legs for always supporting me. And I would like to thank my fingers because I can always count on them.
The car battery and jumper cables go find a seat while the bra asks the bartender for 3 beers. The bartender replies, "I'm not serving you! You're obviously off your tits and your two mates look like they're about to start something."
The more ohms you have, the greater the resistance.
So I brought her home diet pills.
They each got six months.
The p is silent.
But i like to have sex on my own Accord
Because that's when you fast.
Shit, I meant to post this somewhere else.
3 women die and go to heaven. God tells them that they are free to do as they please, but there is only one rule. Never. Step. On. A. Duck. Seems easy enough. The next day the first woman steps on a duck. POOF! She is suddenly handcuffed to a really ugly guy. The other 2 women make sure to be extra careful to not step on a duck. The next day the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and POOF! She's suddenly handcuffed to an even UGLIER guy! The last woman made VERY sure not to step on a duck. And she never did. Until one day, POOF! She was suddenly handcuffed to a gorgeous man. She asked him, "What did I ever do to be handcuffed to you?" He looked at her and said, "I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."
Sails are through the roof.
unless it's spelt incorrectly.
With a sea saw
Your Mercedes bends
Grenade actually accomplish something when it triggers. EDIT : NOT FROM USA NOR WHITE
I’d probably only drive it from time to time…
I just needed an outlet.
"You've got the wrong person," I replied. "So you didn't sleep with her?" "No, I did. I'm just saying you need a new girlfriend."
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy.
The boy replies, “I’m an orphan, your honor.”
Because he couldn't see that well
They are on standbi
batman: check the battery robin: whats a tery?
It's amazing what 7 jokes can do
Imagine all the Paypal…
I didn’t know she even sold flowers!
The Priest asks her, "What troubles you, my child?" The woman replies,"Father, I have two female parrots at home. They only say " Hey cutie, wanna have some fun? " and " You can do whatever you want to me ", and nothing else. This has ruined more than one dinner party. I don't know what to do!" "Worry not, my child" the Priest says. "I have two male parrots at the abbey that only pray and read scriptures. Perhaps your parrots should spend some time with them and they might pick up better language." The woman thanks the priest and brings her parrots the next day. On entering the birdcage, the two female parrots immediately go," Hey cutie, wanna have some fun? " and" you can do whatever you want to me. " One male parrot says to the other," Look Frank! Our prayers have been answered! "
It’s beauty was unpresidented.
They’re free of charge