I know right 😂😂😂
A joke has meaning.
He must be a part of some extreme mist group.
He's all right now.
He's been having lots of trouble with the steps lately.
…so she decides she needs to start punishing her children. The next morning, her three sons, Billy, Bobby, and Johnny come to the kitchen for breakfast. The mom asks Billy what he wants for breakfast. Billy says, "I don't know, just give me ceral or some shit." The mom smacks Billy and he goes flying across the kitchen. She turns to Bobby and asks him what he wants for breakfast. Bobby shouts, "Damn, mom! What the hell did you hit Billy for? Just give me cereal I guess." The mom hits Bobby even harder and Bobby flies into the next room over. Finally, she turns to Johnny and asks what he wants for breakfast. Johnny looks at the other two boys and hesitates for a while. Johnny says, "I don't know, but you can bet your sweet ass that it isn't cereal."
They both eliminate free radicals.
I bought a porn DVD today and all I could see was a dark image of some fat cunt sitting there holding his cock.
Then I realised the telly wasn't on.
You would think “R,” but it’s actually the “C.”
After that she refuses to play Scrabble with me.
The second time let me down.
A young cowboy from Montana goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all his money …. he calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in University that will teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!" "That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?" "Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says "and I'll get him in the course." So, his father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. "So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his father asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this — they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!" "Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." The money promptly arrives. But the young lad has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!" "Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does". "Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?" The father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot that lying dog before he talks to your Mother!" "I sure did, Dad!" "That's my boy!"
Maths, and he couldn’t remember the other one.
Because it's a contact sport.
She keeps asking how my food is.
Airport security, for example.
After years of hard work in the gym as a personal trainer I finally admitted I wasn’t strong enough and quit.
I just handed in my too weak notice.
What's green and has wheels? Grass.. I was lying about the wheels
She said because Russian porn gets me Soviet
He nuts and bolts.
It runs in your jeans
But then I was like Na, people wont understand.
He got a sentence.
Second Roman: mmm? Roman Guy: don't be ridiculous, not that many
An iron deficiency.
So I gave her two Popeye's biscuits and no drink.
When cashing out at the grocery store it was obvious my cashier was high, slow as hell, and insulting me under their breath.
I still don't know if I like self-checkout.
As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter…
I slid my finger back out, and within seconds, she was going down on me. I thought to myself, “I really need a new fucking boat.”