I like to disassociate myself from the word ‘Xenophobia’
It's a bit too foreign-sounding for my liking.
I have a friend who was born on October 10th. Every year for his birthday I get him a 3 foot long pole. He hates it.
It might be stupid, but 10/10 wood post again.
How many Brexiteers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only two: One to promise a bright future and another one to screw it up.
I once saw two octopuses that looked the exact same.
They must have been itentacle twins.
![[OC]True Story](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/tskwnb5z7u641-400x255.png)
Why did the Mexican take a Xanax?
For Hispanic Attack!
Do you want to hear a mean joke?
A physicist, an engineer and a statistician go on a hunting trip. They see a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance to the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, he fires but misses five feet to the left. The engineer says he forgot to account for the wind, takes the rifle, aims and misses five feet to the right. The statistician claps and says "we got him!".
Why was the poor man selling yeast?
To raise some dough
How does a tree access the internet?
It logs on.
A vegan kept telling me selling meat is gross
I said selling fruit and vegetables is grocer
According to my wife, I’m a terrible dad for not treating my kids equally.
I just don't understand it. I love James, Nicole and the fat, ugly one all the same.
What do you call a 1 armed man who does karate?
Partial arts
I got my best friend a fridge for his birthday.
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
What’s big, gray, and makes you jump?
The elephant of surprise.
Did you hear about the guy who got the hand transplant?
He's feeling much better now
What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna One, Anna Two
Someone threw a giant bottle of omega-3 pills at me
I'm fine – i only suffered super fish oil injuries
Did you know that diarrhea is genetic?
It runs in your jeans
I just ended a 5 year relationship
It’s ok though. Wasn’t my relationship.
some guys told me this isn’t boomer humor.. wife ugly but she put big things in mouth hehe
https://ift.tt/2z5YrvC
I previously suffered from premature ejaculation my GF got me some cream that reduces sensitivity
It 100% totally work's now i don't give a fuck about that bitch.
A man phones the doctor about his hearing aid, but gets no answer.
The doctor phones the man back shortly after and says, "You called?" The man thinks for a second, then says, "No, pretty warm, actually."
A long time married couple are walking by a shop when they suddenly notice a sign that reads “If you lift this 21″ laptop with your dick, it’s yours!”
… The husband goes in, lifts the laptop with his dick with great ease, and wins it. Everyone cheers for him. A month goes by and the wife notices that the husband is no longer getting frisky with her. She tries everything to get him to make love to her. Nothing works. Fed up and in tears, she goes to the husband and asks, why are you no longer making love to me!? He replies: Honey, I've been training for the washing machine!
I can cut down a tree just by looking at it.
It’s true! I saw it with my own eyes.
![[Announcement] If you keep spamming your youtube channels here then your post will be marked as spam.](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/no_image_card-29-400x247.png)
[Announcement] If you keep spamming your youtube channels here then your post will be marked as spam.
Which means that you will not only be banned from posting to this sub but you may get a shadow ban from reddit. Shadow ban means that you will not be able to post anything to ANY subreddit. Just follow the rules before posting.
Did you hear that Julie Andrews will no longer be supporting cheap lipstick? It crumbles easily and makes her breath smell.
In a quote she said "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis".
Working at the unemployment office sucks.
If you lose your job you still have to come in.
A young man robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors, but he turned himself in after taking some time to reflect. Luckily, the judge was lenient…
…as he saw a lot of himself in the young man.
