I like to tell dad jokes
He always finds them funny
Because it's made of hide
Let's go ride bikes!
When they grow up, two of them become adult knees.
And when someone tried to take the candy from my hat i told them "My hat my candy"
And only a handful of Herpes cases was Clinton's
the shower gets turned on.
When it becomes apparent
The doc takes one look and he says, "Jeeze, it looks like we have one heck of a problem here." The guy responds "this is just the tip of the iceberg."
Mountain climbing with a friend is hard
After a particularly nasty one, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started. The professor got wind of this, so the following day, he walked in and said, “Class, did you hear about the shortage of whores in India?” all the women stood up and headed for the door. “Wait, ladies!” cried the professor. “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
Dad: Hey I was just at the gas station and this lady next to me was filling up her car with gas and then she spilled like half a gallon Me: Oh jeez Dad: Yeah I know anyway she opened her door to get something to wipe it up with cause the station had nothing and then this huge Rot Weiler ran out of the car and licked up a bunch of gas then ran away and the lady was Freaking out so I ran across the street to grab the dog and I finally caught up to him and he started walking in a circle and then just collapsed Me: Oh my god what happened Dad: He ran out of gas
A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.
“We have two big needs,” said the village headman. “First, we have a hospital but no doctor.” The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said: “I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?” “We have no cellphone reception at all in our village.”
It's alright, nobody came.
At first I thought that these jokes just weren't that funny. Then I realized that I'm depressed… and these jokes aren't that funny.
They work just fine outside as well
Now I have stable wifi
It's full of cymballism.
That you read the first bit wrong.
A gummy bear
Quick, everyone get out, this is NOT a drill!
Never trust a guy with 6 kids that says he is going to pull out
Husband: What! That little son of a bitch
"Have to love Easter, baby…."
I mean he just blew up overnight.