I love you & I miss you
They were made in Greece
“Certainly, Sir,” I replied. “Are you eating in or taking out?” “Fuck off you cunt,” he snapped, before walking off with his food. I love working in the prison canteen.
They heard it was a mail dominated industry.. ( Possibility OC?)
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office… But she was dating someone else. One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, 'I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you'… The girl looked at him, and then said, 'NO!' Eddie said, 'I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up.' She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend…So she called him and explained the situation. Her boyfriend says, 'Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down.' She agreed and accepts the proposal. Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened. Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, 'The bastard had all dimes!'
The prose outweighs the cons.
Also, the police say on top of having to stay 100 feet away, I need to stop referring to her as my "girlfriend"
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it
My boss asked “What companies? “ I answered; "Gas, water and electricity."
If nobody's home he just leaves a brochure on the kitchen table.
An old woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
"Quick, hide!" she says, so the man grabs his clothes and jumps into the closet. The man hears the hushed voice of a young boy. "Sure is dark in here." "Indeed it is," the man responds. "I have a baseball," says the boy. "That's nice," he says. "I'll sell it to you for $50." "$50? That's a little steep for a baseball, son." "Well, my dad has a shotgun. Wanna see that?" "Tell you what, you have yourself a deal," says the man, and he pays the kid $50. A week later, the man and the woman are having sex, when once again the woman's husband comes home early. Grabbing his clothes, the man jumps into the closet. "Sure is dark in here," says the boy. "Oh, it's you again." "I have a baseball glove." "Alright, how much do you want for it?" "$700." "$700? That's absurd!" "Well, my dad has a shotgun. Would you rather see that?" "Alright, alright, $700," so he pays the kid. That Sunday, the father says to his son, "Go get your mitt, let's throw the ball around." The boy says, "I can't, Dad. I sold my ball and glove." "For how much?" he asks. "$750." "$750? Son, it's wrong to rip off your friends. I'm taking you to church for confession." They drive to church and the boy kneels in the confession booth. "Sure is dark in here," he says. The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."
You open windows.
Asking for a friend.
But then I look back on the post that I have saved from a year ago that says otherwise.
Because they are really good at it.
Bartender asks “What would you like, Mr. President?”
They had no chemistry 🥺
I said "Wow! To scale?" He said "No, just to look at"
In case he gets a hole in one
They say "Sorry sir we don't have your shoe size"
Because if it were served warm, it would be justwater.
…were upset when their tent collapsed
But I think this sub's doing even better!
"We've come to inspect your house for drugs!" they shouted. I said, "Fuck off. Get your own."
He always leaves you hanging
Can’t be spotted