I made myself some Pepper-Mint tea.
Because they're always stuffed.
No pun in ten did.
Once when we're having drinks, I asked him, "Aren't you tired of Westerners saying that all Chinese people look the same? " He replied, "Kim's at the bar getting drinks, I'm his wife. "
I told her she was starting to sound like my wife
It's like he blew up overnight.
We are from the south so things are going good.
Because they're good at it
So they can Scan da navy in
“I bet it’s the snooty bitch at number twenty three,” she replied.
It gives me the E B G Bs
I said toucan play that game.
were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when they were arrested by Saudi police. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so they are all sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to appeal their sentences down to 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: "As it is my first wife's birthday today, she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The German was first in line; after thinking for a bit he said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but after only 10 lashes the whip had shredded the pillow. When the punishment was done the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying in pain. The Englishman was next up. After watching the German in horror he asked, "Please tie two pillows to my back." This time it took 15 lashes, but once again the pillows were shredded, and the Englishman was led away bleeding and whimpering in pain. The Irishman was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from the most beautiful part of the world I have ever seen. Because of this, you may have two wishes!" "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," the Irishman replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable man from a beautiful island, you are also very brave," the Sheikh said with admiration. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish?" And the Irishman said, "Tie the Englishman to my back."
to talk about hispanic attacks.
I understand, she is deadly allergic to nuts.
A girl was driving down the road with me in the car, and she was fumbling with a map and saying, “I’m looking for a turn-off.”
I said, “I repost jokes on Reddit.”
I have no idea, but it ain't 3 cause my basement is still dark.
She almost poked my eye out.
Billy’s mom comes home. “Billy, what’s wrong?” -“Dad hanged himself in the attic!” he said in tears.
The mother rushes to the attic in a panic, quickly followed by her son. As she gets up to the attic, she notices that nothing is there, and little Billy started giggling. HaHaHa! April fool's mommy!!! He hanged himself in the basement!"
Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.
She replied with "I don't know dad I'm stumped"
Olive the other reindeer!
He’s only got little legs.
One's a British WASP, the other is a USB.
"Soy milk" "Hola milk, soy padre"
It was bread in captivity.
Your pupils. They dilate.
Maybe you should cook them longer…
me: i'm terrified of random letters therapist: you are? me: [screams] therapist: oh i see me: [screaming intensifies]
The servers were down.
He teaches Taekwon D'oh!
All I did was take a day off!
If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture