Now I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend.
A couple of guys are at the bar. First guy says to his buddy, "My wife just admitted to me that she's having an affair with Bob the mailman." "What?" says his buddy. "That fat ugly fucker I see every morning outside your house?" "That's right," says the first guy. "Jesus," says his buddy. "Why would Bob the mailman want to fuck that?"
He was consumed by his own pride
You become a vacuum cleaner
In a cult the main person knows it's all bullshit. In religion that person is dead.
It’s fully groan.
A roads scholar.
I said ,"Lorry, Al."
They’re really good at it.
All groan up.
He wanted to be a millionaire too
A small medium at large.
A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu: "Cheeseburger: $5 Fries: $3 Handjobs: $10." He walks up to the window and there is a beautiful blonde working behind the counter. "Are you the one that gives the handjobs?" he asks, handing her ten dollars. "Yes, I am," she replies seductively. "Well, wash your hands, I want two cheeseburgers."
The secret service isn’t allowed to yell “Get down!” anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
Such a nice jester.
He just kinda blew up
Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.
How should I know. It’s not like I have 2020 vision.
By 4am I was past caring…
I'll call it instagram
Because he was ostrich sized
It’s pretty lit.
Guess that makes him postponed Malone
No shit Sherlock
It has me on Edge