I think it fits here to well.
What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones, but people in Abu-Dhabi-do! -Dad
Why are dogs afraid to go to space?
Because of the vacuum
Why has a car made of wood never been successful ?
Because it wooden go.
Why did the Duck cross the road?
Because the Chicken retired and moved to Connecticut.
Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world. In an effort to solve this dilemma, he decided that a few apostles would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did…
Two days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to return. Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in each disciple. "Who is it?" "It's Mark." Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Mark?" "Marijuana from Colombia." "Very well son, come in." Another soft knock is heard. "Who is it?" "It's Matthew." Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Matthew?" "Cocaine from Bolivia." "Very well son, come in." At the next knock Jesus asks, "Who is it?" "It's John." Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring John?" "Crack from New York." "Very well son, come in." Someone starts pounding on the door. "Who is it?" "It's Judas!" Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Judas?" "FREEZE! THIS IS THE DEA!"
England doesn’t have a kidney bank…
But they do have a Liverpool
My girlfriend is a star on pornhub.
And she'll kill me if she finds out.
If God had low self esteem, would that make him an atheist?
Because he doesn’t believe in himself
And now it’s stuck in my head
You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, now in quarantine You can dance, you can jive, but you can’t go outside See that girl, watch that scene, but only through a screen
13 year old me alone in my room after my mom took away my electronics
13 year old me alone in my room after my mom took away my electronics
Today just shocked my whole life
First i find out im adopted, then I found out that both of my dads are gay.
Everybody is shocked….
When they realize I’m not an electrician.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving
But you do need one to go skydiving twice
I finished writing my tortilla joke
That's a wrap
I tried looking up synonyms of confusion.
But I came away with uncertainty and disorientation.
Having sex is like playing bridge
If you dont have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
I was drinking my milkshake on a cliff and thought
Wow this is ledge ‘n dairy
“Can you make me breakfast in bed?” asked the wife.
I said, "No, I'll have to go to the kitchen."
I tripped in France
Eiffel over.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas,
can't wait to see how it turns out.