I told my wife, “I’m going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.”
She said, “Where would you find the time?”
I said, “That should be easy. Next to the sage.”
It was udder destruction.
She didn’t have any arms; Knock Knock; Who’s there ; Not Sally
Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance
Because of all the coffin.
Currently staying at a hotel with my dad. Next to the parking lot there’s a sign that says “pet grounds”, pointing to where you can walk your dog. My dad reads it aloud, “pet grounds”, so I say “alright then”. I crouched down, pet the grass a little bit and said, “good grounds”. Got a good laugh out of it.
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As big as the previous two combined
He said "Sorry, I'm a little short"
I fought in over 100 fights, and came 2nd every single time.
Everyone suddenly wants to be your friend when you take it out at school.
I mean, they are Minors.
Cos when 1 person sneezes a 100 people shit themselves.
Me: oh, that was when I went to Yale Interviewer: Amazing, you are hired! Me: hurray! I got a Yob!
I think he's full of shit
He was a herbefor
3 guys have a sleep over after watching a scary movie, they all decide to stay in the same bed. The next morning the guy on the left says " last night i had the best dream a beautiful blonde girl was wanking me off " The guy on the right says " That's strange I had a similar dream except the girl was a brunette " The guy in the mindle saying " Fuck sake I had a dream I was skiing "
I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin all day.
She filled a cup of water placed it on her head and began to violently and rapidly breathe in and out. The force is strong with her.
Because they hate Tibet
He wanted to keep things brief.
Remove the p
…like doctors or directors. While females tend to settle with lesser paying ones like female doctors or female directors.
A British doctor says: “In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man’s liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job.”
The German doctor replies: "That's nothing, in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job." The Russian doctor replies: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job." The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. A few months ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President. Now, the whole country is looking for a job!"
The gorilla runs up behind the lion, grabs on, and has his way with him. The gorilla then takes off running, with the very angry lion on his heels. As they run through the jungle, the gorilla gets a bit of a lead, and sees a British safari camp ahead. The gorilla enters the camp, grabs some khakis that are hung out to dry, and puts on pants, a shirt, and a hat. He sits on a chair by the campfire and grabs a copy of the local paper, pretending to read, to hide his face. The lion enters the campsite and lets out a huge roar. He yells, "did anyone see a gorilla run through here?" The gorilla, in full disguise, calls out, "you mean the one that fucked the lion up the ass?" The lion exclaims, "oh my god! It's in the paper already?"
As the storm raged,the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. So he shouted out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" Just one guy stepped forward and said, "Aye, captain,I know how to pray." "Good,"said the captain, "You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets – we're one short."
I said "No, it doesn't".
All the fans left
Me: Oh yeah, what was it on? Her: Paper. I was so proud.
A brothel sprout (I’ll let myself out)
"You crossed the wrong guy."
Terrible joke. 3 stars.
They are on standbi
So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.
He said, “Now who is being presumptuous?”
The way they pronounce unionized