I used to be in a band called “The Hinges”
We opened for The Doors
I have shellfish steamed issues.
I don't know why
They both know how to hide their bodies.
It was a shih tzu
It is not stroganoff.
A non-prophet organization! 😂😂
He steps into the confessional and says "Bless me Father for I have sinned. I stole wood from the local lumber yard." The Priest responds, "Well son how much did you steal, it may not be so bad." "Well Father, with the wood I was able to build a house for my new dog in the backyard." "My son, this is not so bad. 10 Hail Marys and 5 Our Fathers and you shall be cleansed." The man interrupts, "Um Father, there was some wood left over, so I used it to build a fence around my yard." The Priest was surprised. "My child, that's a bit worse. You'll have to do 2 full rosaries." The man speaks up again. "Father, you see there was still some wood left and I used it to build an extension on my house." The Priest sighed with discomfort. "Oh dear my child. You'll need to do some real penance for that. Our church courtyard could use an update. Do you know how to build a gazebo?" The man replied, "No father, but if you have the plans, I have the wood."
I never knew horses even got tattoos.
I said that makes two of us
Dr. Watson was again impressed by Sherlock Holmes’ diverse set of skills as Watson asked inquisitively as to what tree Sherlock was planting, to which Sherlock replied…
“Why, that’s a lemon tree, my dear Watson.”
EDIT: tools …stupid keyboard…
Personally I’m on the fence.
It’s just a curd to me.
There are three people on a boat, all smokers. They have a total of four cigarettes, but no matches. How do they manage to smoke?
They throw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
I can tell just by looking at them
It was the least I could do to help.
I only had him 3 hours and he made a bolt for the door.
They left a little note on the windscreen, it said “Parking Fine”. So that was nice.
You want a piece of me?
But backwards it’s even more stupid.
At her parent's house. Her father, after being woken by the noises, goes upstairs to check it out; and walks in on them. "Dad!" she exclaimed in a panic "…I'm sorry" The dad being, a dad, replies "hi sorry, I'm Dad!" He then turns to the boyfriend and asks "Are you *fucking* sorry?"
Restaurant in peace
Running, jk rowling
But so far I've made 3 jugs and a vase and they're lovely.
Because he was in the middle of 9/11
Something terrible’s about to happen… I can feel it…