I want to fight (for) corruption!
But I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
I think my mother did a commendable job in that regard.
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says……… "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk." "Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. " With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon … Every imaginable kind of cured pork. "Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree." "Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget." "Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon…ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree." And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath, "Pepe… Go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!" "Luis, Luis MI amigo… What ees it? " "Pepe.. Ees not a bacon tree. Ees Ees Ees Ees Ees a ham bush…."
"No, he doesn't like to be disturbed at work".
Because its eeleagle.
Guess I should've known when the seller said no strings attached.
On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
Hello, is that Mr Jenkins? Yes, how can I help you? Hi, This is little Billy’s music teacher calling Oh, hi Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands! Really? Wow! That’s.. Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento" When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
They said it would be like winning the Lottery. To my horror they were right, we had six matching balls.
The tree’s bark.
So I got one second hand and one first hand.
He’s good at saving
I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter. I took my finger back out and within seconds she was going down on me. "I really need a new boat", I thought to myself.
She ran away from the ball.
It becomes theiranium.
but if no one likes it and it gets down-voted then so-v-iet
Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.
I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.
But the contractor kept cutting corners.
You use a pumpkin patch.
So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
Time to get joggin’ ladies
I don’t know if it was because she was still wearing them or because the rest of the family was there. Either way it made the rest of the funeral very awkward.
I think it’s working, she said we should split up. She went to her parents house and I’m looking for clues in the garden.
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
Police officers are worth their weight in copper.
A boy was upstairs playing on his computer when his grandad came in the room and sat down on the bed.
"What are you doing?", asked the grandad. "You're 18 years old and wasting your life. When I was 18 I went to Paris, I went to the Moulin Rouge, drank all night, had my way with the dancers, pissed on the barman and left without paying. Now that is how to have a good time." A week later, the grandfather comes to visit again. He finds the boy still in his room, but with a broken arm in plaster, 2 black eyes and missing all his front teeth. "What happened?", he asked. "Oh Grandfather!", replied the boy. "I did what you did. I went to Paris, went to the Moulin Rouge, drank all night, had my way with the dancers, pissed all over the barman, and he beat the crap out of me!" "Oh dear!", replied the grandad. "Who did you go with?" "Just some friends, why? Who did you go with?" "Oh!" replied the grandad. "The Third Panzer Division."