I want to try this
It get’s jalapeño face…
Tell him to let your people go.
I think they're intoxicating people.
“They just seem really shady.”
Found out she meant trout, not Skittles
Everybody came.. You should have seen her face
…but I prefer it in a bowl.
Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar. Homeless man: "All right sir, what's your name?" Me: "John." Homeless man: "So John, there is black rooster alright? How many legs does that chicken have?" Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?" Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?" Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right again, now look at that white cat walking around – how many hairs are on that white cat?" Me: "I don't know. A lot?" Homeless man: "Well John, how do you know so much about black cock and so little about white pussy?"
Today everyone has cars and only the rich have horses. oh how the stables have turned.
The deep friar
They're interested in developing one, but can't stop focusing on all the negatives.
I'm currently working knights.
Mary ate her friend's lunch. Mary ate her friend's colon.
He's a seasoned veteran.
My math teacher is a bastard.
She told me she doesn't want to bother me while I'm at work.
We now call him Dr.Awkward.
Which is better than suffering from really good ones.
By previously legalizing same-sex marriage and now Marijuana, Canada have finally interpreted the bible correctly:
Leviticus 20:13 "If a man lies with another man he should be stoned."
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Because his mom and dad were in a jam
But I stand corrected.
If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.
Because it's an emergent sea.
I said, not sure I haven't met everyone yet. She was not amused.
But since I got Parkinson's, I don't have the balls to do it anymore.
When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
Because their horns don’t work.
Eye doctor: Your results aren't good. Me: Can I see them? Eye doctor: Probably not.
It was horrible, nothing left but de Brie.
Because if it was served warm, it would be just water
The distributive property.
St. Peter was guarding the Pearly Gates, waiting for new souls coming to heaven. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. "Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?" "Sure," replied Jesus. "What do I have to do?" "Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven." "Sounds easy enough. OK." So Jesus manned the gates for St. Peter. The first person to approach the gates was a wrinkled old man. Jesus summoned him to sit down and sat across from him. Jesus peered at the old man and asked, "What did you do for a living?" The old man replied, "I was a carpenter." Jesus remembered his own earthly existence and leaned forward. "Did you have any family?" he asked. "Yes, I had a son, but I lost him." Jesus leaned forward some more. "You lost your son? Can you tell me about him?" "Well, he had holes in his hands and feet." Jesus leaned forward even more and whispered, "Father?" The old man leaned forward and whispered, "Pinocchio?"