I was at a party and every one had a cold.
Yo it was sick!
We should hang out sometime.
I decided to let him sleep
Because they weren't paying him a good enough monthly celery.
there will be mass confusion.
But most of then just have 4.
He was lowered into the coffin, flipped over, and then lowered again.
In a cult, there is a person that knows that all of it is bullshit but in a religion, that person is long dead.
That way you're a mile away, and you have his shoes.
I told them it’s not my fault you don’t have windows.
”Will, You, Mary, Me” is a foursome proposal.
They must neckered.
Because Italics aren't bold
I said I wasn't ready for competitive wanking
Now he's just Dav.
"Whom, sweetheart?" "Mike the mailman." "Mike the mailman? But he could be your father!" "But mom, age is just a number." "Sweetheart, I don't think you understood."
I don't know how they can sleep at night!
Two out of three little ones have no household.
It's called the electric slide
The same thing Arkansas!
Because noble gases don't cause reaction
She's old enough to order 12 fascinating issues of Zoobooks for $19.95 if she calls 1-800-441-2400. When she calls, they'll include the bonus Elephants issue, stickers, and Tiger Poster with her order.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up everything inside is numbered." The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order." The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over." But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable."
"For I did not speak of my own Accord…" – John 12:49
Denim denim denim Denim denim denim
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing so his friend calls 911
''My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator replies, "Calm down sir, first make sure that he's really dead." There's a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, Ok, now what?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
so you don't see their butt-quack!
This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house can't jump.
It was a shih tzu
His parents named him "Sudden Lee"
Because then it would be a foot
You’re still using fowl language.
It’s quite bazaar
It can offer a whole lot more.
The mirror: you should see yourself right now The echo: meh, I've heard it all before.
A banjo asked a fiddle to marry him. “Don’t fret!” he said. “Just duet and we’ll live in harmony until the end of time!”
Ten months later, the fiddle started to tip the scales. Her belly was noticeably bowed and before you could say concerto, out popped a minor. Daddy banjo went to the Hyundai dealer and traded in his old Accent for a brand new Sonata. After just a month, mama fiddle lost her key at the bar and had a break down when she couldn't find it. Apparently it really struck a chord with daddy banjo because for the first time ever, he took a harsh tone with mama fiddle. He drove her home, lost his tempo, strung her up by the neck and beat her. Domestic violins.
I don’t think I can look at her in the same light ever again.