I was just on my way to a fancy dress party in my counterfeit money costume, when someone came along and ruined my plans.
I got held up.
but when I do, he laughs.
They would call it crucifact.
Kid: “I’ll have a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate please.” Clerk: “Sorry kid, we're out of chocolate.” Kid: “OK. Make it a scoop of strawberry and a scoop of chocolate.” Clerk: “No, no, you don't understand, it’s chocolate we're out of,” Kid: “Ah, OK. Then gimme a scoop of raspberry, and a scoop of chocolate.” Clerk: “Listen kid, can you spell the VAN in vanilla?” Kid: “Sure! V-A-N.” Clerk: “Can you spell the STRAW in strawberry?” Kid: “Sure! S-T-R-A-W! Clerk: “Can you spell the FUCK in chocolate?” Kid: “There is no FUCK in chocolate!” Clerk: “THAT’S what I’m trying to tell you.”
That you read the first bit wrong.
I can’t believe I missed all the red flags
It was SpaceXXX.
Because it’s hard to differentiate between them.
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree. It shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree”
The lumberjack smiled, “and you will dialogue”.
I had some big shoes to fill.
They just pick it up as they go along.
For support, rather than illumination.
certain circumstances funny
Because with great power, comes great response ability.
But I don't see it
It's a little too crude.
I don’t know what to make of it.
Her: knock knock Me: who's there? Her: eye lo Me: eye lo who? Her: eye lo you This is isn't funny but I had to share my lil 2 year old's first knock knock joke
I’m still waiting for my adult super-vision to kick in
Something bad is about to happen; I can feel it.
First time I've ever seen a SWAT team.
but I forgot it
No text found
50 Cent ft. Nickelback
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
A gummy bear
All the fans left
Because blonde men are stupid too.
…when Superman flies by and sees her. Her naked body has him feeling all types of ways, so he starts to think, "You know, I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I could be in and out of there before she even realizes what happened." So, Superman flies in, does his business and takes off. Wonder Woman says, "What was that?" The Invisible Man responds, "I don't know, but my fucking ass is killing me."