I’d love to know what interactions with strangers bought this on
Just so everybody knows he's an absolute unit.
I can see it so clearly.
I once lived a stone's throw away from a family that all died of mysterious head injuries.
There’s no home page
Throw them in the Main stream.
I was like: What the Hellman
The stewardess stops him and says "I'm sorry sir, you're only one carrion per passenger!"
Historically it's rare for a King to leave the throne alive.
A can't opener.
Iron Man. https://imgur.com/a/3eNDlNZ
Can’t say that I‘m surprised
When Biden is speaking you wonder if he's had a stroke. When Trump is speaking you wonder if you've had a stroke.
Best Buy employee: a cord? Me: no it's a Civic.
You could say it was a Soviet Reunion.
I will find you. You have my Word!
They LAVA good joke!
He's a great man… Rubbish cabinet maker though.
Because if i wanted to disappoint two people at once, I'd visit my parents.
I don’t even touch it
Ask them to pronounce "unionized."
For God's sake.
He said, “Christmas stalking.”
A plane bagel
He was fired for not putting in enough Shifts.
FML, now I'm stuck taking care of the puppy.
I can’t believe that even after 15 years of the show ending, people are still making “Friends” references.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
…he doesnt know what to do so he finally goes to a doctor for the pain. The doctor checks him and says "bill I’m not sure how to tell you this , but you have a very rare condition where your balls press up against your spine and put pressure on your head. That’s why you've been getting these headaches" Bill shocked and scared asks the doctor "what should i do doc" Doctor sighs and tells Bill "im sorry only thing we can do is castrate you" . Bill is shocked , he shudders at the thought of getting his balls cut off . He tells the doctor he’ll think about it and leaves. He thinks about it for sometime and finally after working up the courage he goes back to the doc and agrees to do the procedure . Finally after a long long painful surgery Bill walks out a new man. He walks around for the first time without his balls and tries not to think about his loss. He walks around and passes by a suit store he tells himself 'I am a new man today!…let me buy my new self some clothes” . He goes in and asks the owner "sir can u get me a blazer" the owner looks at him and says "one blazer coming up size 13" bill is amazed that the guy was able to tell his size by just looking at him and says "damn how'd u know" the owner answers "been in the business 50 years" bill tells him “ ok then let me get pants" the owner says "one pair of pants coming up size 35 waist" again bill is amazed he asks the guy "how did u know?" .."been in the business 50 yrs i know it all" Bill still surprised asks him "how about a pair of underwear" the owner looks at him and says "one pair of underwear size 10 coming up" bill jumps up and says "ha you were wrong im a size 8 been wearing 8 for 40 years " the owner looks at him concerned and retorts”well you shouldnt have ….8 is too small ,it will make your balls press up against your spine and give you a crazy headache".
No text found
I think it meant a great deal to him.
You may be dyslexic