Idk if this has been put on here yet
Its like I've never seen herbivore.
The secret service isn’t allowed to yell “Get down!” anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
It can offer a whole lot more.
I said yeah, Homers a bald fat dude that drinks Duff and Marge has blue hair
You flip it over and it becomes capsized.
A – meano -acid
He's calling it "That's what Xi said"
I would probably only drive it from time to time
I guess I shouldn’t drink Mr. Pb again
[Nsfw] My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, “How soon do you think we’ll be able to have sex?”
He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes – meet me in the car park."
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Because they have a supreme ruler
Went to Jail for the first time and found out that what they say about dropping the soap is just a myth
I held on to that soap for dear life and it turns out they rape you anyway
With a sea saw
steven: even numbers stephen: ephen numbers
Pupils. They dilate.
for the first time ever, I'm hoping you all say "I didn't get it"
I learned next to nothing.
They have many fans.
It doesn’t last long for fat people.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey
Cause every time someone walked in I'd say "get a load of this guy"
So now we use lube
The kids start goofing around while she's talking to the waitress. The mom gets impatient and yells, "Eddy! Stop that! Or else!" All 15 boys suddenly sit down, obedient and quiet. The waitress asks, "Did you really name all 15 of your boys Eddy?" "Yup," says the woman. "Makes it easier than trying to remember who's who every damn time." "But what if you only want to talk to one of them for some reason?" the waitress asks. "Well, then I just call them by their last names."
"This is a stick up!"
Except for the rare penfish, which is said to be mightier.