If I had a dollar for every time a girl found me not attractive.
They eventually would.
We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds…
So he goes up to the captain and asks "What do you guys use when you get horny?" The captain says: "There's a barrel over there with a hole in it; we use that". Guy: "Great when can I use it?" Captain: "You can use it any day of the week, except Tuesday". Guy: "Why not Tuesday?" The captain grinned and said: "Cause that's your day in the barrel."
Little did I know the window was rolled down… at least it stopped crying
"Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad!" "No you're not."
One is a superhero, the other is a command.
I mean he just blew up overnight.
The Zookeeper said he was bread in captivity.
I replied, "Yes just once." The doctor asked, "What was it like?" I said, "It was dark, then suddenly very bright."
Because they’re always stuffed.
I thought to myself, that’s a little condescending.
But I've never met herbivore
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news & bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because, since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead." Mary replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
Through the engineers.
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
Because every time I cut one down I keep a log.
I dunno water you drinking?
I will find you, and I will kill you. edit: no you wont
I think it was filmed in a cinema though, as I see a little silhouetto of a man.
I thought it would be a walk in the park.
The bellhop asks: "Hello, can i help with your luggage?" "Oh thanks, no need, i am travelling light."
and let my girlfriend know I’m not into this fetish.
A very attractive female golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out: "Are you okay?" "I'm okay, thanks," I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart. "Why don't you come up to my villa, rest for a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later.” I noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure. "That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it." "Oh, come on now", she insisted. She was so pretty and very, very persuasive. I was weak … "Well, okay," I finally agreed, "However, I'm sure my wife won't like it." After a couple of Scotch, I thanked her and said: "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I'd better go now." "Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open. "Stay for a while, she won't know anything. By the way, where is she?" "Still under the cart, I suppose."
He was having an eggs and stencils crisis.
The next floor, however, is a different story.
In Sundays they eat fishermen.
Dad: "I think you mean May I"
There are too many ears