If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, ….
He will be rolling in his grave.
The difference is staggering.
Any tips for burying him?
It reminds me why there’s no money in there.
I decided to let him sleep
Or should I spread them apart?
So we can die in peace.
So he took her to dinner and a movie, and dropped her off at her parent's house.
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says……… "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk." "Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. " With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon … Every imaginable kind of cured pork. "Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree." "Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget." "Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon…ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree." And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath, "Pepe… Go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!" "Luis, Luis MI amigo… What ees it? " "Pepe.. Ees not a bacon tree. Ees Ees Ees Ees Ees a ham bush…."
It’s still fowl language
She's my cross aunt.
Because 7 ate(8) 9. But why did 7 eat 9? Because you have to eat 3 squared meals a day.
My wife asked if I needed help to clean it up. I said don't worry it's nacho problem.
Four religious men of the cloth go on a fishing trip That night in the fish house they decide to confess their greatest sin to each other. The Catholic priest says, "my greatest sin is lust. I look at porn constantly online and when I can I have crazy sex with parishioners." The Rabbi says "my sin is greed. I never give to charities and sometimes steal from the Temple." The Islamic imam says, "my sin is gluttony. At least once a week I go to the liquor store for a six-pack and then head to McDonalds in the middle of the night and get a big bag of Big Macs, Bacon cheese burgers and fries and eat and drink it all while sitting in the parking lot." The Baptist minister says, "My greatest sin is gossip and I can't wait to get back to town!"
I fought in over 100 fights, and came 2nd every single time.
They’re both meat substitutes.
It got so bad he went baroque!
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Put a little boogie in it!
It’s all word of mouth…
It scares the hell out of the dog.
THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN OSLO!
We are strictly a Bing family.
We ended up getting into a row.
then 25.8069758011 is the root of all evil.
It's fine to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around… and PLEASE don't try to shove it down my child's throat.
My friend said, “Congratulations on your new job. How did you get it?” I replied, “The same way the Virgin Mary got Jesus.” He laughed, “A miracle?!”
I said, "No. Sex that I can't tell anyone about."
The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.”
He said, “Why? Is she a stunner?” I said, “No, she’s an optician.”
He looked at me and said "I honestly don't know… It's hard to keep track".
Irishman got a job at the zoo, first week there, someone asked him “would you fuck the gorilla for £2,000?”
Irishman said "on three conditions, I don't wanna kiss it, I don't want any of my friends or relatives to find out, and give me a couple of months to get the money together".
My friend claims that he “accidentally” glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.