I’ll just leave this here…

We're all getting sick of them

The cowboy thinks a minute then says, " I wish to say goodbye to my horse then to set him free." So they bring him his horse, he whispers in its ear then sets him off into the sunset. He tells the chief he needs to mull over the third request and the chief agrees to wait until sunset. As the sun dips in the sky, here comes the horse back, with a beautiful brunette in the saddle. "Is this your last request?" the chief asks. "Uh, no," says the cowboy. "My last request is to say goodbye to my horse once more." "Ok…" says the chief. The cowboy leans into his horses ear and hisses, "You idiot! I said 'Posse! Posse!"

and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!' The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.' Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, Made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die! Why? Everyone knows… You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone

However the police still don't have any concrete evidence against him.

A teacher, a lawyer, and a priest were sitting together on an airplane. The pilot comes over the PA and says “I’m sorry folks, but we’ve just lost both engines. We’re going to crash and die.” The teacher exclaims “Oh my God, the poor children!” The lawyer replies “Fuck the children!” The priest asks “Do we have time?”

Then why are you wearing a bra?

Toto recall

Then it dawned on me

A prostitute standing outside a motel in a small town saw a 70+ years old man walking past. She hasn't had a customer for a while so she whistles at him and says, "hey, would you like to have some fun time with me?" The old man said, "but I won't be able to…" Prostitute: "c'mon man…. give it a try… " Old man says okay. They go in. The old man whips out his 8 incher and fucks the daylights out of her for 30 minutes. When he's done, the prostitute all exhausted and tired says, "but you said you won't be able to…." "…pay you" replied the old man.

I thought it was a bit odd. Then I realized he was one of those plane clothes cops.

Because it’s capsized.

“Very well, my child,” says the priest, as he leads the man into the confession booth, “Tell me about your sins.” “Well, Father,” says the guy, “On Monday, I was at my girlfriend’s house, and, well… the two of us alone, the house empty… I sinned, Father.” “Don’t worry, child,” says the priest, “It’s perfectly normal to have such desires and share them with your partner. Nothing serious, just say two prayers and you will be cleansed of your sins.” “But Father,” continues the man, “It doesn’t end there. On Tuesday, I was at my girlfriend’s house again, but she had gone out with her mates, and the only one there was her sister, and, well… the two of us alone, the house empty… I sinned again, Father.” “Oh, child,” says the Father, “You must be strong and fight those urges! Eight prayers shall cleanse you of your sins.” “But Father,” says the bloke again, “On Wednesday, I was at my girlfriend’s house again, and she wasn’t there then either, and the only one at home was her mum, and, well… the two of us alone, the house empty… Again I sinned, Father.” “Good Lord,” says the priest, “Child, you must think about what you do, so pray-” “But Father,” says the bloke, “On Thursday, I was at my girlfriend’s house again, and the whole family had gone to the shop, and the only one there was her aunt, and, well… the two of us alone, the house empty… I sinned yet again, Father.” The priest falls silent. “And then,” continues the bloke, “On Friday, I was at her house again, and they had gone out for the weekend and the only one there was her granny, and , well… the two of us alone, the house empty…” The priest still did not answer. “And on Saturday,” said the bloke, “I went to her house again, and there was nobody there except for her father, and, well…” The man awaits a reply, but upon hearing none, he exits the booth – only to find the priest up on the belfry. “Father,” he calls, “What are you doing up there? I haven’t finished!” “Back off, I’m not coming down,” says the priest, “The two of us alone, the Church's fucking empty… and I don’t want you to sin anymore.”

I guess we can call it a typo.

“Last week,” Bill explained, “I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have me around that every time the milkman or mailman came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms and hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”

He found it an arrowing experience

That's mean.

This is now the fifth one that has insufficient funds.

It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

Apparently the paper was jamming.

But this is as close as I could get

He was a little chili.

No text found

When they got back on the ground they were walking down the street and they saw a woman crying. Being the gentlemen they are they went up to ask her why she was crying she said: "A rock fell from the sky, landed on my cat and now my cat is dead." The men said they were very sorry to hear that and walked away. The next house they came across a little further down the road there was another woman crying. Being the gentlemen they are they walk up to her and asked her why she was crying she said: "A brick fell from the sky, landed on my dog, and now my dog is dead." The men said they were very sorry to hear that and walked away. The next house they came across a little further down the road there was a man laughing his head off. Wondering what was so funny they went up to ask him. After they asked him he replied, "I bent over to get the newspaper this morning, I farted and my whole house blew up!"

Bi-son.

I said "No, it doesn't".

Were sitting at a table doing a puzzle. The daughter looks at her mom and says " mommy you have such pretty hair, but why is some of it white?" Smiling the mother tells her " you see honey, whenever you do something that makes me cry. My hair turns a little more grey." Hearing this her daughter's jaw drops and her eyes go wide as she asks " MOMMY WHAT DID YOU DO TO NANNA?"