I’m done with facebook 😂😂😂
“I won’t use stores that gender kids’ beds”
"Like a boycott?" "Don't you start"
You know what I find odd?
Numbers that are not divisible by 2.
Mod Applications
We’ve been talking about mod apps for years now, but it’s never actually materialized.Well, here’s the Google FormAfter a week or so we will look through all of the responses and stalk profiles do research and see who the best candidates are.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
I bought my friends an elephant for their room
They said: 'Thank you.' I said: 'Don't mention it.'
Have I discovered the only boomer comic that doesn’t shame millennials/zoomers?
https://ift.tt/2u1Pst7
I love to set things on fire. So does my wife. So does our kid.
The first time he set a building on fire, I turned to my wife and said, "yep, that's arson."
Today I thought of a color that doesn’t exist…
but then I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.
What do you call a witch that only eats sand?
Malnourished.
“Mommy i want that balloon” = A baby that keeps pointing at balloons = Pointer 😂
https://ift.tt/2p1zoFy
What do you call a $1000 door?
A grand entrance
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth
Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent
My shoe split at work today
I knew this job would take my sole
3:15pm So the hockey season got cancelled in Canada because of the coronavirus
6:30pm Canada is now testing the vaccine for coronavirus
What’s Batman’s favorite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA BA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA grapefruit
What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter?
Dear Sir, We have terminated your internet service due to illegal copyright violation practices. Sincerely, Your ISP
I asked 20 women in my neighborhood about their preferred shampoo
A staggering 100% of them use "Get out of my shower".
Did you hear about what happened to the guy from the keyboard factory?
He was fired for not putting in enough Shifts.
What do you call an unvaccinated Italian?
Marco Polio
Create new password: Tomato
Confirm new password: Tomato Passwords don't match.
I was told to post this here
this here
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
Classic joke for our Muslim friends today
There were two white christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do. As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful. But then John said ''Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are Muslim.'' Then Mike said ''No way, I won't say I'm Muslim, I'm gonna be honest''. So John and Mike went to the Mosque ahead and were greeted by an Arab Muslim, who asked what their names were. John thought of a Muslim name and said, 'My name is Muhammad'. And Mike said 'My name is Mike'. The Arab man said 'Hello Mike.' And told these other men to take Mike and give him food and drink. Then he turned to John and said, 'Salaam Muhammad. Ramadan Mubarak! (Hello Muhammad, Happy Ramadan)
Amazing… she managed to point out her and her father’s amazing ineptitude in one fell swoop.
https://ift.tt/2MvvFYh
I asked my dad why he still buys vinyl.
He said, “Records are always a sound purchase.”
Did you hear about the baby strawberry?
It’s parents were in a jam.
Man, I really love my furniture
me and my recliner go way back.