I’m happy u can’t breathe
He's basically a giant banner.
"But I never went to college." "Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here."
Do not comsume if the seal is broken
“When I was your age”, he continued, “my buddies and I went to Paris, We went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, pissed on the bartender and didn’t pay for my drinks all night!” The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the Moulin Rouge with his friends. He comes back only three days later covered in bruises, and with a broken arm. The grandfather asks, “What the hell happened to you?” The grandson says, “I did just like you did. I went to the Moulin Rouge; I tried to fuck a dancer on stage and piss on the bartender — but they beat the shit out of me and stole all the cash in my wallet!” The grandfather says, “Well who the hell did you go with boy?” The grandson says, “My friends from school, who did you go with?” The grandfather says, “Well…the Nazis.”
A gorilla goes into a bar and orders a martini. This totally amazes the bartender, but he thinks, "What the heck, I guess I might as well make the drink." So he mixes the martini. He then walks back over to the give it to the gorilla, and the animal is holding out a twenty-dollar bill. Well, now the bartender is just at a loss for words. He can't believe that a gorilla walked into his bar, ordered a martini, and then actually had a twenty-dollar bill to pay for it. So, in amazement, he takes the twenty and walks to the cash register to make the change. While he's standing in front of the cash register he stops for a second and thinks to himself, "Let me try something here and see if the gorilla notices anything." So he walks back over to the gorilla and hands him a dollar change. The gorilla doesn't say anything, he just sits there sipping the martini. After a few minutes the bartender just can't take it anymore. "You know," he says to the gorilla, "we don't get too many gorillas in here." And the gorilla says, "At nineteen dollars a drink I'm not surprised."
"Do you know how to drive this thing?"
Went to see The Joker last night and some guy dressed in a full clown outfit held the door open for me into the theater
I thought it was a nice jester
He couldn't see that well.
It was too much fizzical labor.
Because of all the coffin.
Boss said it was because I had no filter
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal
They both get stoned after sex
"Five beers please."
It doesn't last long for fat people.
I really need to keep an ion them.
Well, first it tied the records up, then it beat them…
There isn't a home page
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes
It was Othello… and then Othgoodbye.
It was a nice jester.
One blink and they’ve gone pasteurise.
You have a one-track mind.
Sometimes Mayo neighs.