I’m so lonely…
That my only greeting is from a microwave.
The plot thickens
One is a whiny toddler and the other is a tiny waddler…
Because they cant keep a straight face
One says: "look out for that cactus!" The other replies: "what cactusssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss?"
…they take dumplings.
When the bouncer tries to stop him, the guy says "let me through, I'm fucking rich." The bouncer, eager for a tip, lets him through. The guy proceeds right to the VIP section, past the ropes, and sits down at the best table. The bouncer tries to stop him again, but the guy says "I can sit wherever I want, I'm fucking rich." Again, the bouncer decides to let the guy sit down, still hoping for a big tip. The guy then walks behind the bar, grabs the most expensive top-shelf bottle, and takes it back to his table. The bouncer, realizing that the owner will fire him for letting a guest grab such an expensive bottle, stops the guy a third time and says "I don't care how wealthy you are, you can't have that bottle." All the sudden a huge man, dwarfing the bouncer, taps him on the shoulder and tells the bouncer to let the guy keep the bottle. Indignant at the bold statement, the bouncer replies "and who the hell are you?" "Rich."
One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?" The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat." The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of wanting to be favored and promoted over my fellow workers." Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?" "Well, I arrived at the factory right on time, and so they accused me of having a watch from the West.
"For I did not speak of my own Accord…" – John 12:49
Fans will remember that
Now millions of people can breathe easier.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945
Cause you’re fucking loud and annoying.
The Doctors were trying to convince me, I'm actually a Swedish bloke who had forgotten his identity… But I wasn't Bjorn yesterday!
MY CAPS LOCKED
She looked surprised!
A 10% survival rate I’m so sorry
I said maybe.
I said, “Who is this guy?” Grandpa: This is my hip replacement.
It was the least I could have done for him.
Then it hit him
Like homie what were you doing in the closet that whole time
Find out after the break!
To be honest, I didn’t know she sold flowers.
I just don’t see it.
He's just not sure that radiocarbon is the most reliable method.