I’m so nervous..
Not wanting to disappoint his fans, he accepted it. He almost finished the drive to his lodging when a police officer stopped his car. The officer asked him, "Have you been drinking?" The comedian denied doing so. The officer then asked, "Is that marijuana I smell?" The comedian replied, "No, I ran over a skunk a few miles back." The officer gave him a good look over and asked, "Why are your eyes red?" The comedian sniffled and said, "It was a baby skunk." Edit: grammar
“Pop” goes the weasel.
Why must it be a group activity?
No text found
They have tiny little antibodies…
Because it was an illeagle.
"Well, at least you could try."
So you can say the password is 123456.
and then there’s you, without both.
On my lap. Turned on. Virus free.
Time to get joggin’ ladies
the bartender asks the guy, "What's up bud? You look rough." "Well," says the man, "I just found out my dad is gay and he's left my mom for some pool boy." "Ouch," says the bartender, "here, these are on the house today." A few days later the same guy comes in and orders another five shots. "Oh no man, what happened this time?" The bartender asks. "Just found out my brother is gay, he's left his wife for a man he met at a gay bar last week." "I'm sorry man," the bartender says, "these are on the house." Just one week later the guy comes in again and orders ten shots. The bartender asks, "Man! Doesn't anyone in your family like women?" The guy responds, "Yeah…my wife."
Me "I dunno. I haven't even watched the first one." Groans from the wife and kids ensue.
Jesus asks for a table for 26. The head waiter says, “But there’s only 13 of you.” Jesus says, “Yeah, but we’re all going to sit on the same side.”
This was due to the fact that one family was immune to the strain.
Cop: You are the lawyer. Lawyer: Exactly, so where’s my present?
I can tell just by looking at them.
They are calling it the wurst käse scenario.
Burnadebt (Just thought of this and I gotta admit…I'm a little bit proud of myself.)
At least until the Librarian caught me.
Now if I can just figure out how to change the polarity.
Police: "hi you're the first people today with their seatbelts on, so we want to give you an award of 5000 dollar." The policeman seeing the happy couple gets curious and asks "what are you going to do with the money?" The man answers: "I'm going to take lessons for my driver's license" The woman: " don't listen to him. When he is drunk he says stupid things!" The man on the backseat: "I told you not to ride in a stolen car!" A voice from the trunk: "did we cross the border?"
Germany. I'm no dad but I'll get myself into shape for when the time comes .