I’m so tired of jokes about gay people
I mean come on guys
One shoots but never hits, the other hoots but never shits.
She almost poked my eye out.
"No, I only drink when someone else is paying."
It's a virus wich deactivates your spelchek and fcuks up you riting. I receibed it but lukily I don't wach p0rn so I dint opin it. Plees warm you frends Wanks
I said, "Yes, when I picked up the phone."
I bought him a new trampoline for Christmas but all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
when Ed glanced over and noticed that Ted’s penis was twisted like a corkscrew. “Blimey,” Ed said. “I’ve never seen one like that before.” “Like what?” Ted said. “All twisted like a pigs tail,” Ed said. “Well what’s yours like?” Ted said. “Well straight like normal,” Ed said. “I thought mine was normal `til I saw yours,” Ted said. Ed finished what he was doing and started to give his old boy a shake down prior to putting it back in his pants. “What did you do that for?” Ted said. “Shaking off the excess drops,” Ed said. “Like normal.” “Shit,” Ted said. “And all these years I’ve been wringing it!”
They were prime mates.
They only had ours!
Alien versus Redditor.
24 years in to their marriage unfortunately
There’s no home page
a waist of paper
Then I could sleep longer.
He wanted a well-balanced meal.
Would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
I put on the wrong sock this morning.
When a small four seaters plane crashed into a cemetary. Irish search and research workers have discovered 965 bodies so far, but they expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night. Yes, my kid just told me that and then started giggling non-stop.
An old woman came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I didn’t say anything because he might take a fence
But when I look back now, all the Clues added up.
R, I, and the seven c’s (Say aloud) XD this made me laugh, hope it brightens your day
They did unspeakable things to her.
I can really flip a page. 😀
If they’re pasta expiration date.
His last entry was about twelve years old.
It's the last time I sleep on the train with my mouth open
They just walk around the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.
Edit：Wow thanks for the gold kind stranger!
But I will recover.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer & consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there, & they should not interfere with God's divine will. At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week. The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide. But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrel's & made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter. Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.
and asks for sex with a girl who suffers from an STD. Aghast, the madame asks him why on earth he'd want an STD. He replies "It's not for me, exactly. I want to give it to the babysitter." She asks him "Why do you want your babysitter to have the clap?" He replies "Well, she'll give it to my dad, my dad will give it to the upstairs maid, the maid will give it to the postman, and the postman will give it to my mom." Horrified, she screams "Why do you want your mother to have the clap?" The kid giggles, and says "She'll give it to the milkman, and he's the SOB who ran over my bike!"
After all, they’re still stuck in the last decade
It was not real food, it was an impasta.
It’s always the centre of a tension.
So now it's just Minnea City