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I’m an eighth-theist
That way you can get a doctor to take a look at it
I told him it’s between 8am and 1pm
The current version has a nasty virus
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
but after spending time on Reddit, I'm apparently well adjusted and normal.
give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
…like doctors or directors. While females tend to settle with lesser paying ones like female doctors or female directors.
A young boy walks into a Halloween teen party with no shirt on, only wearing a pair of loose jeans. The host says, “Well, , this is a costume party.” The young boy responds, “I’m in costume. I’m a premature ejaculation.” The host asks, “how’s that?” “I just came in my pants.”
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I bet their wings would taste delicious!
Because they’re good buoys
You can't do that. Bishops can only move diagonally.
Therapist: Why? Me: Screams
So they can see the battlefield.
The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Because they’re really good at it
At the Olympics I saw an athletic guy carrying a long stick and asked him, “Are you a pole vaulter?”
He looked surprised and said, "Nein, I am a German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"
I’ll show him!
He told me that I don't have a psychiatrist
"Silence of the Lambs"
NV, SC, and Super Tuesday Primary Voters: Show us proof you voted yesterday, and we’ll give you a cool flair! :)
Continuation of this thread, which focuses on the NH Primary.We are planning on expanding the flair program to primary voters in all 50 states. If you have any ideas for perks or extras we can throw in, please let us know via modmail. Right now, only voters from states who’s primaries have either occurred or will occur soon can request flairs.Iowa caucus goers are also encouraged to use the same form to submit their late request. Later states will be given the chance to submit their requests once their primaries or caucuses have occurred.NV, SC, and Super Tuesday Primary Voters: CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR FLAIR IF YOU VOTED!Simply provide evidence of your participation (any ‘I Voted’ sticker or other supplemental documents are allowed), and we’ll add a user flair similar to my account to your account.Special Discord Channel AccessVerified voters will also get special access to our exclusive Voter Only Discord channel. To gain access to this, include your Discord account ID in your above submission, and we’ll add you to this channel.Have a good day!
Because You can't c in the dark
Because Recycling old shit is what Redditors do best . P.S.A – Do recycle ♻
His name was James Pond
I said, "No man, that would just make us even."
GF: A shoe! Me: Bless you Was pretty proud of myself for a couple minutes.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
Because Dshells were too big.
“The first thing you should know about working in a mortuary,” the teacher said as he removed his latex glove and inserted a finger right up the ass of the body on the table, “You can’t be squeamish.” He then stuck his finger in his mouth.
The students grimaced as he motioned for them to line up and do the same. When the last student had stuck their finger- right up to the knuckle, the teacher insisted- and stuck the finger in their mouth, the teacher said- "The second thing you should know about working in a mortuary is attention to detail. I stuck my middle finger in, but sucked my index finger." The class was horrified. Some of them threw up. "The third thing you should know" the teacher said as he picked up his briefcase "is that I don't work here." "And the fourth thing you should know," said the man lying on the table with a smile, "Is that I'm not dead."