In case you don’t know Yoda’s last name
It is LAYHEEHOO
It cheers me up and; 2. She still thinks I'm digging a pond. [Note: Not my joke, but made me chuckle]
For Hispanic attacks
To cover its butt-quack.
The bartender says, “what do you think this is, a granola bar? “.
A man and his date were parked on a back road at night, far away from prying eyes when his date stopped him from going any further.
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl. "Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."
Lean beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
I shouted back, “That’s a weird way to start a conversation!”
The son asked why they couldn't just use a sponge.
That’s just how I roll.
When the wife said to me, “You spoil those dogs.”
They are immediately disqualified.
You will get them VERY ANGRY
"You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!" he continued. "Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!" "Actually," said the 80-year-old, "80 is the worst age of all!" "Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old. "No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all." "Do you have trouble crapping?" asked the 70-year-old. "No, I crap every morning at 6:30." With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so tough about being 80?" "I don't wake up until 7:00"
While teaching a class a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question.
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" Michael said: "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying: "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?" Sherman said: "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back." "That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?" Johnny said: "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner."
But I haven’t touched it in years. I’m sorry to anyone who gets it.
They checked our ratings. One star.
I told her I think we should take things slowly
Dead ant, dead ant. Deadant deadant deadant, dead ant, DEAD AAAANT. Deadant.
To raise some dough
but the only guy who had the traditional famous Jesus look had blonde hair. We begged him to dye it black, but he refused. After explaining it to his parents, they agreed to let their son dye for our scenes.
Wanting to bang her, he walks up to her and says “wanna bang?“ To which the nun replies “hell no“ and proceeded to get off the bus. Distraught, the man ask the bus driver what to do. The bus driver replied, “well every night she goes to the cemetery and prays, So if you go dressed as God and tell her that she must bang you to go to heaven, you are set to go”. Excited, the man goes out And buys the best God costume in the country.Later that night, dressed as God, the man tiptoes into the cemetery and sees the nun praying.Having recited his lines, he goes to the nun and says, “if you want to go to heaven, we must bang”. To his surprise, the nun agreed and they proceeded to have rough anal sex. After he finished, he threw off his God costume and proclaimed, “aha! It is I! The Man from the bus!” The nun threw off its clothes and proclaimed, “aha! It is I! The bus driver!”
Then they call me ugly and poor.
That’s just how I roll
A hippo is very heavy and a Zippo is a little lighter.
…they don't believe in me.
He wanted to get up oily in the morning.
I wanted to add definition to my muscles
There have been barely any posts all year.
I know, it sounds a little far fetched.
I really need to keep an ion them.
One will see you later and the other will see you in a while.
Me: That’s ….sound advice.
Because mummy said the moment you croak is when we're all going to Disneyland!