They're both cauldron.
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I thought, there is no way they're going to fit in a bowl of soup…
Dad: "I don't know…where are my dad glasses?"
But only if everyone gets them
To break on through to the other side
I wonder how many people are in that field.
"Will you mirror me?" She was speechless.
Ahhh, those were the days.
He was actually fired
He told me to go to the back door, down the dark alley and give the woman there 20 bucks. So I go outside and hand a 20 to the woman there and started getting busy. After a few minutes, a cop walks past and shines a flashlight on us and says "What the hell are you doing?" and I said "Having sex with my wife." He said "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that was your wife." and I said "Neither did I till you shined a light on her."
It’s a total rip-off
Tell him to let your people go.
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."
And there’s notre dame thing they can do about it.
I don’t know if it was because she was still wearing them or because the rest of the family was there. Either way it made the rest of the funeral very awkward.
I said, “Remember, it’s also son day.”
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
Exasperated, I showed him the picture and pleaded, “Doctor, all of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!”
He acknowledged grimly, "Indeed, that's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen."
The librarian points him towards the non-friction section.
Because if you sugarcoat the facts, they'll eat them too.
Probably won't have it again. It was just a novelty
Yosef walks up to his mother. "Imma, I want you to know that I am homosexual and I will marry my boyfriend, Raul." After a long awkward silence she frowns. "Raul? That is not a Jewish name!"
Because he did the bear minimum.
What's green and has wheels? Grass.. I was lying about the wheels
But it's a whisk I'm willing to take.
The well, actually.
Me: This is my girlfriend Janine Janine: Hi Wife: What the fuck