In a cult, there is someone on top that knows it’s all nonsense. In a religion that person is dead.
Because it is an actual long-lasting Chinese product.
I said, “Nah, it’s probably womb temperature.”
Because one more and they would get too farty
Or should I spread them apart?
An elderly couple were watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long.
When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 24 inches. Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him and said, "How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure?" The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis. A few days later, the wife asked the husband, "How is our little tribal experiment coming along?" "Well, it looks like we're about half way there," he replied. "Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?" "No, it's turned black."
But the people in Abu Dhabi do!
The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
It's a piece of cake.
He lives with a female roommate, Tina. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Tina is. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Dave and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mum's thoughts, Dave volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Tina and I are just roommates.'' About a week later, Tina came to Dave saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." said Dave. So he sat down and wrote an email: Dear Mum, I'm not saying that you "DID" take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you "DID NOT" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Dave Several days later, Dave received a response email from his mother which read: Dear SON, I'm not saying that you "DO" sleep with Tina, and I'm not saying that you "DO NOT" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if SHE was sleeping in her OWN BED, SHE would have found the sugar bowl by now!!
… but it turned out to be a pigment of my imagination.
Because the cows ate a lot of grass.
In a dad-a-base
Me: Usually to avoid answering such questions.
Well maybe if it wasn't forced to have such strict requirements it would be more confident.
This is known as many paws
Pick on someone your own size.
SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. What you may not know is that Tuba is also an acronym…
For Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
2019 will be odd too.
I told my son people keep accidentally pleading for me to purchase meat for them. He asked, “By mistake?”
I shouted, “Oh come on! Not you too!”
but it’s definitely up there.
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
She said, "Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights".
He always finds them funny
they are a non-prophet organization
Anna One, Anna Two
The hobbit laughs and walks under it.
It's a case of in one ear and out the udder.