Ink jet printers “inject” ink onto paper.
A shop assistant fiercely fought off an armed robber with his labelling gun, yesterday.
Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head
Is slaying cheeks worth the risk in the pandemic
https://youtu.be/J3bVYE2B-2s
Wife was cleaning 12 year old son’s bedroom
When she finds a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asks her husband "what do we do?" Husband says "I'm no expert, but I wouldn't fucking spank him."
My wife accused me of being immature…
I told her to get out of my fort.
Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands;
There are no canaries there either.
How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
Let's go ride bikes!
What’s all this nonsense about nothing flying at Gatwick airport.
My drone's been flying about there all morning no problem.
Peter is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye
It reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought.. Soon he sees another sign which reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, 'What may we do for you my son?' He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business….' 'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.' He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door… This nun instructs, 'Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.' He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him. The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign: GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
Please never ask me if something is electric
Because I only have one response and it's "boogie oogie oogie".
There’s only a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
Only a fraction of people will understand this.
After getting sick of my dad jokes, my wife locked me out of the house.
I texted her, “Oh pun the door!”
Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France?
They were cooked in Greece.
![[OC] u/vaaliera Ahaha phone bad](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/l6trm5rq9ni41-400x663.jpg)
I went to buy camouflage trousers the other day
But I couldn’t see myself wearing any
Confucius knew the answers to all of life’s questions.
The same cannot be said of his twin brother, Confusion.
A teacher says to her class one day, “Whoever answers my next question, can go home.”
A boy throws his bag out the window. The teacher asks, “Who just threw that?” The boy says, “Me! I’m going home now.”
Have you heard of the reverse exorcism?
It’s where the devil appears and asks the priest to get out of the child.
The cocaine that I bought is so white..
..That the cops just let it go with a warning.
My wife yelled at me, telling me to put the toilet seat down…
Don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place.
How does every racist joke start?
With a look over your shoulder
I had to get rid of my old ladder today
We had our ups and downs but I'll still miss it
“Hey kids, it’s Jamaican hairstyle day at work tomorrow!”
I'm dreading it…
There’s an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ
It's 150 minus the number of toilet rolls you have at home
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide…
The librarian says "Fuck off! You're not gonna bring it back!"
Why did the Mexican take a Xanax?
For Hispanic Attack!
Two dragons walk into a bar. One says to the other “It’s hot in here”
The other replies "shut your mouth"
NSFW. What’s the difference between a Budweiser and a clitoris?
A clitoris only tastes like piss for a second.