Instagram vs Reality
Your pupils, they Dilate
One day, two young brothers in Rome, aged 12 and 14, came home with a 20 and 50 euro note. Their mother asked them where they got all that money from. "Well, we were standing outside the brothel when a guy left," said the 12-year-old. "We told him that we knew where he had been, so he asked us not to reveal anything and gave us 20 euros." "Then we followed the man," said the other boy, "and when he came to his house we told him that now we also knew where he lived. Then he gave us another 50 euros and begged us to keep quiet." "That's a truly awful behaviour," the mother replied. "You really should be ashamed of yourselves and feel sorry for the man. Off you go to confession in the church." The boys did what they were told and went to the Church, to confess and atone before the priest. After a while they came back with 100 euros, because now they also knew where the man worked!
I guess it won't make any difference.
He was consumed by pride.
How dense the population is How dense the population is
My wife asked if I needed help to clean it up. I said don't worry it's nacho problem.
They can't shake it so they need to blow dry.
Even the cake was in tiers
How low can ya go
They seem a bit shady.
… be ready to deal with the re-percussions.
So if you’re a good driver, watch out for women turning
Then I was born.
Its not my normal day job, I'm just doing it to make Hens meet.
My girlfriend is very untidy and never helps clean our place. I finally snapped and told her she needed to do her share. She smiled and said…
“If I could turn back time!!! If I could find a way!!!!"
I love foreign axe scents.
A kid walks into a whore house with a dead frog. He goes to the front desk and sets his dead frog up on the counter top. The man at the desk says, we don't allow kids here. The kid puts $100 bill on the counter and the man replies, ok what do you want? The kid says, I want to have sex with the girl here that has the most STD's I can get. We don't have women like that here sorry buddy. The kid then puts another $100 bill on the table. Ok kid, all the way down the hall last door on the left. The kid comes out of the room after awhile and as he's walking out the front door the man stops him. Hey kid, why in the world would you do that? You basically just killed yourself. The kid looks up at him and says, I'm going to go home and fuck my babysitter. My parents are going to come home then my dad will take the babysitter home and he will fuck the babysitter. My dad will come home and he will fuck my mom. My dad will leave for work in the morning and the mail man will come and my mom will fuck the mail man and that's the mother fucker who ran over my frog.
Easy. Good cops carry a Goodge.
Never trust a guy with 6 kids that says he is going to pull out
They checked the reviews of our solar system and only saw one star
It's as good as my previous two Fibonacci sequence jokes put together!
On the other hand, I’m ok
Megasoreass Thanks! I’ll be here the next two months!