He became trans-parent.
Me: “I can’t say I’m surprised.”
I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
They don’t believe in a higher power.
The rest, as they say, is History.
The rest of your life.
By using remorse code.
I SAID MAYBEEEE!!
It wasn’t born yesterday
I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don’t know either.
You are not alone
The guy sitting next to him says, "Whoa, easy there buddy." The drunk says, "Are you a lawyer?" "No, I'm a thief" says the guy.
A North American Elk walks into a pizzeria and sits at an empty table while he waits for the waiter. The waiter hands him a menu and the Elk ponders for a bit. He's not really in the mood for pizza, so he narrows it down to pasta. The Elk is finally ready to order, so he calls for the waiter. The waiter asks him what he wants, and the Elk hesitates for a second. "Locomotive." The waiter is puzzled. "What?" "Land Rover." "Sir, that's not on the menu." "Lake Michigan." The waiter is unsure what to say. Frustrated, the Elk brings his leg up on the table to point out what he wants on the menu. "This is what I want." "Sir, you don't have any fingers… I can't tell what you're pointing at." "Just give me the damn spaghetti."
He was tired of being a web developer.
It’s quite bazaar
What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous
Because he was on quack
But I can see where you are coming from.
An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, “The soup is cold." His astonished mother exclaimed, “Son, I’ve waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven’t you spoken before?" The boy looked at her and replied, “Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."
I’ve been asked to name and shame all those horrible people that have been mocking me for wearing mittens…
…but I’m not going to point fingers.
It was the least I could do to help.
It smells like Teen Spirit.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
He was really in a pickle.
It tasted like ass.
Got such a fright when the lifeguard blew his whistle that I nearly fell in..
You can look me in the eyes, You will always see twelve. It'll drive you insane because back to front and upside down I look the same!
But I don't think there's an end to it.
You look a bit flushed.
The kids are taking it pretty badly