ip add 192.168.1.1 255.255.255.0
I remember asking my dad repeatedly what the acronym LGBTQ meant.
I never got a straight answer.
I learned the name of Baby Yoda’s mother…
It's "Yomama"
What did the redditor say after robbing a jewellery store?
Edit:OMG thanks for the silver Edit 2:WTF OMG thanks for the gold EDIT 3:OMFG THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE PLATINUM
The furniture store keeps calling…
All I wanted was one nightstand.
My 6 year old made this up while taking his bath…
Knock knock Who's there? Dwayne Dwayne who? Dwayne the tub before I dwown.
My neighbor knocked on my door this morning at 2:30 AM!
Luckily for him i was still up playing my drums
What’s the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
I used to shave my scrotum with a straight razor.
But since I got Parkinson's, I don't have the balls to do it anymore.
Why has Japan had so many conflicts and wars?
Because they have lots of animes.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the painting.
There are 10 kinds of people…
Those who understand binary and those who don't.
If you slap Dwayne Johnson’s ass
You hit rock bottom
The Sunday funny paper is a gold mine for boomer humor. Also, what is it with the big noses?
https://ift.tt/34gMyyz
What two things can you never eat for Breakfast?
Lunch and Dinner (not an original, but I thought it was funny :p)
I poured my root beer into a square cup…
Now I’ve just got beer…
To the hacker who hacked into my reddit account, I will find you.
(Edit: no, you won’t)
A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar.
The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?" "No" says the boy, "But he minded his own fucking business."
Am I so out of touch? No, it’s the children who are out of touch
Am I so out of touch? No, it’s the children who are out of touch
I zipped up my jeans and got my penis caught in the zipper. I painfully shouted out…..
"Username checks out"
Someone told me my clothes were gay
I said "I know. They came out of the closet this morning."
My girlfriend accused me of cheating.
I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
I hate guys who are too overconfident..
I really do. Edit: Thanks for the silver! Edit: Thanks for the gold! Edit: Thanks for the platinum! Edit: Thanks for 4k up votes!
I can’t believe I got a life sentence for a little insider trading
The judge called it "organ harvesting", but that's just semantics
What did the Power Ranger say after being sent to the hospital?
It's morphine time.
I got arrested for illegally downloading Wikipedia in its entirety
…before I got arrested I said "wait I can explain everything