It do be like that
Tools!! I meant tools!! Stupid keyboard…
Ask your mother
Hopefully I won't get locked up for resisting a rest.
I told him I didn’t have time to.
Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, recently received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them. On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tell me about your staff," he asked Paddy. "Well," said Paddy, "there's the farm hand, I pay him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage. Then there's the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging. There's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week along with a bottle of whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my wife." "That's disgraceful" said the inspector, "I need to interview the half-wit." "That'll be me then," said Paddy.
he was very self absorbed.
It only made it more sluggish.
It's a step-by-step guide.
The eyes, because they dilate.
I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me after all.
I won’t rest until I find it.
Vladimir Putin was practicing a eulogy speech for an assassinated Russian politician in front of a mirror…
(ahem!) "He was a dear patriot and credit to the Motherland, whom I personally adored as a friend and colleague. I vow, as leader of Russia, to find the culprits responsible for this vicious murder…" Putin then stopped and turned to his aide. "Are you sure this strikes the right tone, Yuri? I mean, in terms of timing? I've been a bit preoccupied, so remind me, when was he killed?" After a few moments consulting his ipad, the aide replies, "Next week, sir."
That they're politicool… Im biased but i think its genius
But I’m planning to give it a shot.
There was no coffin at the funeral.
When suddenly it dawned on me
You cut the ends and now you have endless bread. Courtesy of my 12 year old daughter.
They did unspeakable things to me.
"First I had angina pectoris, and then arteriosclerosis. As I was recovering, I got psoriasis. Hypodermics was followed by tonsillitis, and lastly they gave me appendectomy." "Wow!" said his friends."How did you survive?" "I don't know" said the boy. "Toughest spelling test I've ever had"
Sadly, none of them work.
and I never heard the end of it…
Now I have a bitcoin.
… I was worried she'd be fatter than she looked in her pictures. Turns out he wasn't.
He told me to go to the back door, down the dark alley and give the woman there 20 bucks. So I go outside and hand a 20 to the woman there and started getting busy. After a few minutes, a cop walks past and shines a flashlight on us and says "What the hell are you doing?" and I said "Having sex with my wife." He said "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that was your wife." and I said "Neither did I till you shined a light on her."
Mom: Don't settle for this, you deserve better.. Me: But mom, I lov….. Mom: I was talking to her.
That makes me an eighth theist.
You can never find the barcode
and the other duplikate.
But it just felt Forced.
I had the upper hand
"Who the fuck had sex with my wife? he snarled angrily A voice was hears in the background, "You don't have enough bullets mate!"
Because he was outstanding in his field.