It happens every time
So I can say to people "hey look, it's a terrorwrist".
Is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away
He was really hauling ass.
Never mind, it’s pointless…
a. 10,000 km/s b. 100,000 km/s c. d. 1,000,000 km/s
I was so embarrassed when my wife found out that I was playing with my son’s train set that I threw a bedsheet over it.
I managed to cover my tracks.
On Tatooine you can find Mos Eisley. On Hoth you’ll find ice mostly.
but it was actually just 'some bees'
Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.
After a long while they encounter a huge wall. They try to go around it, over it, but the wall is too high and too long. Out of nowhere, a genie appears. The genie sais: "You must all tell a lie in order to break this wall. The greater the lie, the greater the damage. But beware, each one of you only has one try." The men sink into deep thinking state. After hours of thinking, the Englishman begins: "Us, the english gentlemen, never drink tea with milk." The wall cracks. The American adds: "Us, the american gentlemen never smoke stogies after a hard day of work." Again, the wall cracks. Now all left up to the Scotsman, he takes a deep breath and starts: "Us, the scottish gentlemen-" The wall shatters.
To break on through to the other side
Tomorrow is gonna be wild!
You're too young to smoke.
I’ve been doing it all afternoon and now I can’t see
…they’ve been friends for a long time. One day the chicken wakes up to this screaming and runs out of the farmer's house only to find the horse in a pit of mud sinking. Chicken says, “holy shit, how the fuck did you end up in here?” Horse explains “I’m eating a little food, a little hay…next thing you know I’m sinking in the mud.” So what happens? Chicken runs over to the farmer's house and gets the farmers BMW. Now it’s an 850, all black, waxed to perfection, all leather interior – it’s fucking gorgeous. Hops in it, drives back over, ties a rope to the car and pulls his friend to safety. The horse is grateful and says “anytime you need me, I’ll be there." So what happens? About a week later, same thing only this time it’s the chicken sinking in a pit of mud. Horse gallops over, sees his pal sinking in the mud, takes off to the farmer’s house but he can’t drive the BMW, runs back over, whips out his dick and the chicken climbs to safety. Moral of the story – if you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a BMW to pick up chicks!
I told her good idea, we can cover more ground that way.
He hates capitalism
So you can Scandinavian.
Me; "What are you wearing??" Dad; "its my crop top"
…he went downhill very quickly after that.
She was seeing other people
…but the cashier always keeps putting it back!
If a mass of beef fat is ‘tallow’, and mass of pig fat is ‘lard’, what is a mass of human fat called?
'American'. Just kidding, it's actually called 'Yo Momma'.
One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?" The other says "No"
Once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal…
I guess they must be aimed at a younger audience.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
It tasted like ass.